Nintendo Character's Day Jobs
Mario needs a break from saving the princess. What’s his day job now?
Plumbing inspector who never actually fixes anything
Toad once thought this was a good idea: entering a race... on a unicycle with no training.
Attempting Mario Kart on a unicycle
This Pokémon has no face, speaks only in riddles, and is legally not allowed near Chuck E. Cheese.
Dr. Taylor (Soon to be Orel)
Is in the picture and still dark. Cannot be limited. I don't know Vietnam and real real. -Cold War
Firebase Z
Trench Water (Product of Russia), Chicken Broth Concentrate, Adrenaline, Ammonium, Salts, Anchovy Paste, Feline Urea
Quick Revive
Kirby’s done fighting gods. What does he do Monday to Friday now?
Competitive eater / Vacuum salesman hybrid
Toad’s brilliant plan to impress Princess Peach involved this… which did not go as expected.
Juggling fireballs
It spins rapidly, makes a loud noise, and might fly into your face if you’re not careful—but it’s not a Flygon.
Ceiling Fan
The initiatives, the sellers do not accept the situation. Dairy products. - An important matter has found your heart. -Cold War
Die Maschine
Embalming fluid, chalk suspension, duplicator spirits, reconstituted perk essence and viscoelastic liquid silicone
Tombstone
Princess Peach said, “screw the castle” and got into this line of work instead.
Motivational speaker for women in toxic situationships
Toad’s attempt to fix Bowser’s castle ended with this unexpected outcome.
Setting off every trap in the castle
This rare Pokémon is 97% dry shampoo and 3% insecurity. Weak to rain. Found at Coachella.
Instagram influencer
Hurry! Can be purchased at church or outside the box. -BO2
Die Rise
Carbonated Water, Glucose, Cola Nut Extract, Hydrolyzed Crank, Caffeine, Guarana, Taurine, Cayenne Pepper
Speed Cola
Link retired from adventuring. Now he does this all day in Hyrule.
Pottery removal specialist
Toad decided to start a business selling this item… despite zero knowledge about it.
Magic mushrooms
This Pokémon evolves after 2 a.m., is 80% regret, and fights with a side of mild sauce.
Beefy 5-Layer Burrito (Anything from taco bell)
Good progress. There is air. Start here. That sounds good. Everything -BO1
Der Riese
Carbonated Milk, Powdered Crocodile Eggs, Spinach Juice, Pure Gumption, Fortified with Iron
Jugger-nog
Fox McCloud got tired of barrel rolls. Where’s he working now?
Drone pilot for Amazon, but still thinks it’s a mission
In an effort to prove he’s brave, Toad did this — and lived to regret it.
Trying to swim in lava
It rises from the lake at dawn, radiates unprovoked hostility, and approaches with the quiet confidence of something that’s ended lives before. Not a legendary Pokémon—just pure lakeside terror.
Goose
I refuse my English. -BO4
Dead of the Night
Castor oil, Nitroglycerin, Powdered Graphite, Blasting Cap Extract, and Distilled Banana Peel.
PhD Slider