Statements that can be enforced onto ourselves or others; these statements can feel like rules, they can create a lot of pressure as they can impose a set of expectations that are unlikely to be met.
Should Statements
1. When we over exaggerate, often leading to our worries escalating to the 'worst-case-scenario'
2. When we downplay our positive experiences; the importance of positive qualities are diminished
Catastrophizing:
Magnification and Minimization
Holding others responsible for our pain; taking on a "victim mentality;" not taking responsibility for our role or part in something
Blaming
You score a point during your basketball game, but you tell yourself "it was just a lucky shot"
Mental Filtering: Disqualifying The Positive
You win the "MVP" award for your playing this season but don't feel like you've accomplished as much or played as well as the players that have previously won the award
Catastrophizing: Minimization
1. We know what others are thinking; assumptions of their intentions occur without any evidence
2. We make predictions and conclusions without any evidence, sometimes leading to negative/undesired outcomes
Jumping To Conclusions:
Mind Reading and Fortune Telling
Thinking in "black and white" or "all-or-nothing;" desiring to be perfect otherwise you're a complete failure
Polarized Thinking
Fallacy of Fairness
Your friend has a first date planned for tonight but they tell you that "it probably won't go well"
Jumping To Conclusions: Fortune Telling
You fail your driver's test and end up feeling like a failure; you don't believe you'll be able to pass it if you try again, so you don't reschedule it
Overgeneralization
1. When we focus on the negatives of a situation and filter out the positives; negative details are emphasized
2. We can acknowledge the positives of a situation but refuse to accept it; we find excuses to turn it into a negative
Mental Filtering:
Negative Mental Filtering and Disqualifying the Positive
When we take things to heart, therefore causing us to react to other's actions even if their actions are unrelated to us; we might get the impression we have been intentionally targetted or excluded
Personalization
We internalize our opinions as facts and go to great lengths to prove our opinions or actions are correct
Always Being Right
You ask your sister to help carry the groceries in but she waves you off and says she's busy. Based on this interaction you think she's a jerk. Later on, you learn that she was on an important phone call that she couldn't put on hold.
Labeling
You arrive at your friend's BBQ and the friends you know at the gathering are currently chatting with other people. You feel like your friends don't have any interest in engaging in conversation with you and are possibly even upset with you because they didn't say hi/acknowledge you when you arrived. This makes you think you aren't welcome and that you shouldn't have attended.
Personalization
Assigning judgment to ourselves (or others) based on a single negative/undesirable incident; rather than recognizing that mistakes happen or things don't always go according to plan, we instead judge and insult ourselves (or others) solely based on that single incident
Labeling
When we equate a feeling with a fact; any feeling must be true in our minds; we may accept an emotion as fact and block out all logical reasoning; we incorrectly assume what we're feeling is the only truth
Emotional Reasoning
Believing that someone or something should be adjusted to fit your interests; feeling like your happiness is dependent on this adjustment, and you might even put pressure on the person or thing to make the adjustment happen
Fallacy of Change
As you scroll on social media and see posts of your friends socializing, you begin to feel lonely; this feeling then leads you to believe you are "alone" and believe that no one cares about you
Emotional Reasoning
You don't agree with the way your new roommate completes certain chores around the apartment. You have a certain way of doing things and feel your way is the only correct one.
Always Being Right
When we focus on a single event and make a conclusion based on a single piece of negative evidence; we incorrectly conclude that any similar events in the future will have the same result as the initial event
Overgeneralization
1. Believing that life and what happens in it is completely controlled by external factors, creating a feeling of having no control over a situation
2. We have control of ourselves and our surroundings, therefore leading us to feel responsible for the emotional state and well-being of others
Control Fallacies:
External Control Fallacy and Internal Control Fallacy
Believing that if you work hard your efforts will be paid off; that hard work will result in some type of benefit. When reality hits, you end up feeling disappointed, angry, or resentful
Heaven's Reward Fallacy
You adore your partner, however, you dislike that they wear sandals with socks because it's a fashion "faux-paux" that you find embarrassing. You think they would be the most perfect, well-dressed partner if they only stopped wearing that, and that you'd feel much happier in the relationship if they did
Fallacy of Change
Your coworker made a technical error on a task at work which led to some consequences for other tasks that followed. You feel guilty and responsible because when you reviewed their work you missed the mistake.
Control Fallacies: Internal Control Fallacy