Spelling
You are vanished from this land.
Banished
My necklaces, one of which is solid gold, is my greatest possession.
I was never there to begin with! James shouted.
Needs quotation marks ("")
"Did he say anything?" She asked. "No, not a word." Rosie replied. "Ugh, I wish he would say something already."
A new line needs to be placed for each line of dialogue.
Turns out, the thieves were connected to multiple roberies.
Robberies
It cost over $200, what could of I done?
Could have
There were many cheeses in the store. Cheddar, gouda, pepper jack, parmesan, mozzarella, and so many more.
A colon is needed instead of a period at the first sentence.
"There were two of them". Andrew looked on in horror.
Period should be in the quotation marks.
Have you checked your calender for Alice's birthday? I want to get her a wonderful birthday present.
Calendar
My friends and I went to the park where we played basketball with another group that was there already after we challenged them to a game.
Run-on sentence
I thought this would be easy but of course the universe had to say otherwise.
easy, but of course
The man walks down the street, pausing to take a look at the building he just emerged from. He turned back to his car before he opened the door and got inside.
Changes from present tense to past tense incorrectly.
"Why are you trying to take this away from me?" Alan asked.
"It's a necessery evil, if you kept this you would only use it against me."
Necessary
As he walked along the warm, white sand. The waves washed up along the shore.
First sentence is a fragment
"What is that?"
"Oh, its a new device meant to help look for mushrooms."
David said Anthony won't show up either. He has an appointment.
Unclear is "He" is David or Anthony.
I've recieved a letter discussing your habitual tardiness from school. Care to explain why that is?
Received
Two major complications arose, both of which effected the man greatly.
Affected
My shirt was blue, his, brown.
A semicolon replaces the first comma. (My shirt was blue; his, brown).
She stood in the midst of the bustling kitchen, waiting for someone to take notice of her. The sounds of pans clattering, knives chopping, and feet running around bounced across the walls. You could smell the deep aroma of garlic, spices, and herbs.
Jarring shift from third person to second person.