Mental illness and communication
Depression and communication
What is how depression can effect communication by memory, reaching conclusions, and concentration.
Memory- easier to recall memories that fit the current mood (I feel sad so it is easier to remember sad things)
Reaching conclusions- tend to come up with answers in line with the current mood (I feel sad so this will have a sad outcome)
Concentration- because so much energy is spent on thinking with depression, I am more prone to miss things going on with other people and become distracted with conversation topics.
Get to the point
What is an effective communication strategy when talking with someone that has difficultly concentration?
Criticism
What is something that makes it hard for a person to hear what another person is trying to say?
Take a break
What is a strategy to use when conversations are becoming stressful and heated?
Caboosing
What is the last car of a train?
or
What is the habit of saying something positive and following it up with something critical?
Sometimes we mean to praise a person and highlight a strength and end up being critical.
Bonus:
Make a comment that cabooses and then one that is just an expression of something positive.
Anxiety and communication
What is how anxiety can effect communication through memory, reaching conclusions, and concentration?
Memory- easier to recall memories that fit the current mood (I feel anxious so it is easier to remember anxious things)
Reaching conclusions- tend to come up with answers in line with the current mood (I feel anxious so this will have a terrible outcome)
Concentration- because so much energy is spent on thinking with anxiety, I am more prone to miss things going on with other people and become distracted with conversation topics.
Bonus! Worth double points. Practice getting to the point using the 2 sentence rule.
Long-winded, roundabout statements can be hard for anyone to follow, but this is especially true when someone has difficulty concentrating. Being brief and getting to the point quickly makes it easier to get the point across to the other person and to be sure your point is understood.
Try using only 2 sentences to convey a point.
Low self esteem
What is a mental state that makes a person more sensitive to real or perceived criticism?
or
What is a mental state that makes it hard for a person to communicate their experiences and take feedback?
People with mental illness are uniquely sensitive to criticism, and this can lead to an increase in symptoms or social withdrawal. When individuals are going through a stressful time, they may have a hard time functioning. Praise your family member for taking any small steps to getting better, and limit your criticism. Focus on the priority issues— taking medication, making appointments, getting up for a part of each day. There will be time to deal with bigger issues later.
Problem identification
What is figuring out what the problem and/or goal is for what is being discussed?
Problems are more easily worked on when it is clear to everyone what the problem is and when there is a shared goal.
One question
What is a way of communicating that is respectful of you and the other person by asking just one question at a time?
Bonus:
Ask a single question, listen to the response without interrupting, summarize the answer, and check for understanding.
Suspiciousness and communication
What is how suspiciousness can effect communication through memory, reaching conclusions, and concentration?
Memory- easier to recall memories that fit the current mood (I feel suspicious so it is easier to remember suspicious things)
Reaching conclusions- tend to come up with answers in line with the current mood (I feel suspicious so suspicious things are going on)
Concentration- because so much energy is spent on thinking with suspiciousness, I am more prone to miss things going on with other people and become distracted with conversation topics.
Each person is responsible for communicating their own feelings
What is everybody is an expert on their own feelings?
Each person is truly an expert on only their own feelings and therefore responsible for that expertise in communication.
Back channeling
What is speaking for others?
People often speak for others because they think they know how others are feeling. Families also may use “backchannel communication” to indirectly communicate with each other (for example, “Your mother is angry with you”). Speaking for other people and using backchannel communication (either communicating indirectly to others or listening to such messages) naturally leads to misunderstandings since each person is truly an expert on only their own feelings. The problems that result from people speaking for each other can be avoided if everyone is responsible only for expressing their own feelings.
Active listening
What is understanding to the other person's point of view and shortly summarizing it to ensure understanding?
Understanding is different than agreeing. Take time to learn each other's points of view.
Bonus:
Pick a topic like cars, music, food, etc...
Listen to a person talk about the topic
Then summarize what they said.
Ask them for feedback if you understood.
Starting a conversation
What is looking at the person, smiling, greeting, and asking a question about a general topic?
Over stimulation
What is what people with mental illness sometimes experience and a motivation for withdrawing socially.
Positive feedback
What is a way to grow relationships and confidence?
Everyone feels good when their efforts are acknowledged. Expressing positive feelings about what someone has done - no matter how small - lets them know that it is appreciated (and that they are appreciated). Positive feedback can also let the other person know what one cares about, which can lead to change.
Bonus points:
Assuming other people's internal experiences
What is jumping to conclusions, mind reading, and/or playing the expert on others?
3 things we can't know for sure about other people and other people can't for sure know about us:
What we are thinking
What we are feeling
What our motivation is
Express negative feelings
What is being able to express unpleasant feelings constructively is crucial to resolving conflicts and getting along with other people.
The following steps can be helpful in expressing and resolving negative feelings:
Bonus: Practice sharing a negative feeling
An example of expressing negative feelings could be “I was worried when you didn’t come home from work at your usual time. In the future, if you think you’re going to be late, please call me” or “I’m angry that you stopped taking your medication. Can we talk about what your concerns are and work out a way to get them addressed?”
Levels of disclosure
What are different degrees of sharing personal information?
Levels of disclosure aren't solely based on what you feel comfortable with sharing. I may be okay sharing something that others would find deeply personal. Part of being an effective communicator is "reading the room" and understand what fits for the current relationship and situation.
Bonus:
Categorize these as low, medium, and high disclosure
I like music
I play a musical instrument
I have hemorrhoids
I have a mental illness
I struggle with things from time to time
I like hamburgers
Over and under emotion
What are two common symptoms that can effect communication.
Over- On the other hand, some people display intense, rapidly escalating emotions. It is helpful if you can recognize the heightened emotionality as a symptom of the illness.
Under- Individuals with a mental illness may have an impaired ability to express emotions. Consequently, they may appear detached, cold or emotionally aloof.
Making a positive request
What is asking for what you would like the other person to do?
All close relationships involve some degree of doing things for each other. How people communicate their wants and needs can have an important impact on how the other person responds. Making a request of another person is most effective when it is clear, specific, and stated in a positive way. The following steps can be helpful when making requests:
Bonus:
Make a positively worded request.
An example of making a positive request could be “I would appreciate it if you could go shopping for groceries today” or “I’d like you to come with me to my doctor’s appointment this Wednesday because I would like your help in explaining my medication side effects to the doctor; I would be relieved to know you can be there with me.”
Blaming
What is focusing on the other person in a way that leads to them feeling guiltily and ashamed?
Blaming often leads to a person defending themselves or agreeing in a way that is not effective.
"It isn't my fault!" or "You are right, I am at fault, I am just a mess up. I will do better next time" actually doesn't solve a problem.
Focusing on Behaviors
What is focusing on behaviors is more effective than on personality?
It is easier for people to change behavior than to change personality, attitudes, or feelings. Focusing communications on behavior (rather than personality characteristics or traits) is especially important when you are upset because you can make it clear to the person what you are upset about.
An example of focusing on behaviors rather than personality could be “I am concerned because you are drinking so much and I worry about your health,” rather than saying “You are an alcoholic.” Or saying “I sometimes think you don’t care about me because you rarely ask about my feelings; I wish you would show more concern by asking how I’m feeling more often,” rather than saying “You’re thoughtless; you only think of yourself.”
Advice
What is something that is often seen as hostile and judgmental if not requested?
Avoid giving advice unless you are asked – or if the person cannot make the decision on their own. It is best to make decisions together whenever possible.