Communication Styles
Theresa is in line to buy concert tickets for one of her favorite bands. She's been waiting an hour and is almost at the front. Two people cut in front of her. She timidly says, "excuse me..." but when they ignore her, she decides to be quiet. What communication style is she showing?
a.) Assertive b.) Passive-aggressive c.) passive d.) aggressive
c) passive
a.) being defensive b.) stonewalling c.) being pleasant d.) doing nothing wrong
b.) stonewalling
Aliyah is in an argument with her mom. She notices herself getting really angry at her mom (her voice is getting louder, her face is getting hot, her shoulders are tense). What could she do to help the situation?
a) try to tune her mom out
b) ask for a break
c) storm off and slam the door
d) just nod her head and pretend she agrees with her mom to get her to go away
b) ask for a break
Demonstrate active listening.
Person nods, asks questions, uses small verbalizations, makes eye contact, puts away distractions, summarizes etc.
Think of a time when you took a break during a conflict and it helped. What did you do during the break to calm down? How did it help?
You can also think of a time when you should have taken a break, and described how it would have helped.
Provides an example of when taking a break helped, or when taking a break would have helped.
Erica ordered a burger at her favorite restaurant. It arrived cold. She yelled at the waiter and threatened to leave a bad review. What communication style did Erica show?
a.) angry b.) aggressive c.) assertive d.) passive- aggressive
b.) aggressive
Amy is working on a group project. Her group member, Alysha, has not been doing her part. Amy wants to tell Alysha how she feels. Amy says, "Alysha, I feel like you are being really lazy and inconsiderate. You need to do your work." Did Amy use an "I statement"? Why or why not?
No.
-Amy began the sentence with "I feel" but then used a blaming statement instead of an emotion word. "you are being really lazy and inconsiderate."
-This is an "I statement imposter"
Kayla is upset with her friend, Jessica, because Jessica has not responded to her text messages for a week. She wants to use an "I Statement" to express her feelings. Which one is a true "I Statement."
a.) "I feel like you never respond to my texts anymore."
b.) "I feel like if you were a good friend you'd respond to my texts"
c.) "I feel sad and confused when you don't respond to my texts."
d.) A and C
c.) "I feel sad and confused when you don't respond to my texts"
You are upset because you were accused of something you didn't do (e.g., stealing something, breaking something). Come up with an "I Statement" to respectfully explain your feelings.
"I felt ________ when __________"
"I feel_________ when__________"
Think of a time you used "I Statements" to express your feelings. How did the other person react?
Or, think of a time you could have used an "I Statement." How might it have helped the situation?
Provides example of using "I Statements" or when they could have used them.
Mel's mother asked her to clean her room. Mel didn't want to clean her room so she muttered, "fine, whatever" under her breath. Then she cleaned her room as slowly as possible just to annoy her mom. What communication style did she show:
a.) Passive-aggressive b.) sarcastic c.) aggressive d.) agreeable
a.) passive-aggressive communication
Mackenzie had a negative interaction with a peer. She ended up cursing her peer out. She receives feedback from a staff member about her behavior. Mackenzie makes excuses for her behavior and shouts, "I didn't do anything wrong!" She then blames her peer and says it was all their fault. Mackenzie is being:
a.) honest b.) defensive c.) helpful d.) assertive
b.) defensive
Devon and Kelsey are going to the movies. Devon really wants to see an action film and Kelsey wants to see a "rom com." They can't agree. They decide to see another kind of movie, an animated movie, that they are both interested in seeing (even though it's not their first choice). Which skill did they use:
a.) Agreeing
b.) Debating
c.) Assertive communication
d.) Compromise
d.) compromise
Demonstrate stonewalling for the group.
Accurately shows what stonewalling looks like.
Think of a time you used assertive communication in real life. How did it help you achieve your goal in the situation?
Or, think of a time you could have used assertive communication. How might it have helped you achieve your goal?
Provides example of using assertive communication, or when they could have used it.
Jen got an F on her paper. She thought she should have earned a passing grade. She met with her teacher, Mr. Brown after school. She asked him if he could explain why he failed her, and asked whether she could do extra credit to improve her grade. She showed which communication style:
a.) bossy b.) aggressive c.) neutral d.) assertive
d.) assertive
Isabel gets into an argument with her classmate, Claire. Isabel rolls her eyes, sucks her teeth, and acts like she has no respect for Claire at all. In fact, she acts like she thinks Claire is "beneath her." Isabel is showing:
a.) contempt b) defensiveness c) passive-aggressiveness d) her honest emotions
a.) contempt
Name three ways a person can show that they are actively listening.
-eye contact
-nodding
-mhhmm (verbalizations)
-ask questions to encourage sharing
-put away distractions
-Summarize what the person has said
Demonstrate contempt OR defensiveness for the group.
Accurately demonstrates contempt OR defensiveness.
Describe a time when you engaged in active listening. How do you think it made the other person feel? How did it help your relationship with that person?
Describes actively listening and how it affected the other person and relationship.
Describe the body language, voice, demeanor and/or behavior of someone who is assertively communicating. Give at least three specific examples.
Lists at least three:
Calm, confident, open body posture, eye contact, even tone of voice, direct, respectful (or accurate other examples).
Janel is tired to doing all the dishes when her little brother doesn't help. She tells her brother he is "always unhelpful and lazy" and that all he cares about is playing video games "with his lame friends." Janel is:
a.) being reasonable b.) focusing on the person and not the problem c.) using criticism d.) both b and c
d.) both b and c. Focusing on the person and not the problem, and criticizing her brother.
What is the difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication? Describe each of these communication styles and explain why assertive communication is most effective. Feel free to use examples.
Passive: other person's needs take priority.
Aggressive: only my needs take priority.
Assertive: Takes into account both your needs and mine.
You feel you are drifting apart from your best friend. You haven't been spending as much time together, and you notice they are spending more time with new friends. How could you use "I Statements" and assertive communication to resolve the conflict?
Use "I statements" to express your feelings
"I feel _____ when"
Use assertive communication to ask for something. For example, "Can we spend some one-on-one time together this weekend?"
Describe a situation in which you used MULTIPLE (at least 3) conflict resolution skills to successfully resolve a conflict.
OR imagine how you could have used conflict resolution skills to resolve a conflict in your life.
Describes how three conflict resolution skills were used or could have been used.