Boundaries
What is a boundary?
A line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line in a boundary wall. Often boundaries : a limit of a subject or sphere of activity.
But a close enough answer will suffice
"You are the reason I am so depressed and an addict, you never helped me"
Is an example of what communication style?
Aggressive Communication
When you......
Finish the sentence with an example
When you ( describe their behavior, what they are doing)
I feel ( State how it is making you feel –no secrets or minimizing)
I would like (How could they handle it better, so they do not hurt you)
What are the three parts of the drama triangle?
Victim, persecutor and rescuer
Are Boundaries a solid wall? Yes or No?
NO!
Think of a fence or garage door, boundaries can be flexible!
Give an example of passive aggressive communication
Either respecting ONLY your rights OR others rights
Not addressing the problem or behavior
Talking about others behind their backs (gossip)
Why are "I statements" important?
Claiming your feelings as important as well
Focuses on you and your feelings-no blame on the other person (no pointing fingers)
What are the three parts of the empowerment triangle?
Creator, challenger, and coach
What are the six types of boundaries?
Physical
Emotional
Spiritual
Sexual
Intellectual/ mental
Material
What are the four types of aggression?
1. Indirect aggression (attempt to hurt w/o face to face conflict)
2. Direct Aggression (intent to hurt to someone's face)
3. Emotional Aggression (hurtful aggression that stems from hurtful feelings)
4. Instrumental Aggression (Hurting another to accomplish a goal)
Broken record of saying "No" when setting boundaries is similar to?
A skipping CD/ record
Describe the three elements of CBT
Thoughts become emotions which become behaviors
What are the three types of boundaries people generally have?
Rigid, porous and healthy!
Rigid prevents growth
Porous fail to protect person in boundary
Lets aim for the healthy ones :)
Trauma Responses in regards to communication styles?
Aggressive (fight)
Passive (fawn)
Passive-Aggressive (flight)
Receiving a compliment is what type of communication?
Assertive act!
Define core beliefs
A persons most central ideas about themselves, others and the world around them.
Think of a lens in which someone is looking through (we all have different eyes/ perspectives and personalities) so every life situation and experience is seen, felt, and behave differently.
Are Boundaries external or internal and why?
Boundaries can be internal and external we draw to protect ourselves and others. They define who we are, who we are not, and who we are willing to share that information with.
Being assertive means.......
Respecting others rights as well as your own rights
Communicating effectively, directly and with confidence
Dealing with conflict effectively and calmly
Handling and receiving feedback effectively
Setting Boundaries
Focus is on behavior and problem solving instead of attacking/ ignoring the person
Acknowledge, validate and show gratitude is a technique that focuses on what DBT skill in interpersonal effectiveness?
FAST
F-Fair
A-No apologies
S-Stick to values
T-Truthful
What are the six advanced techniques of advanced skills for assertive communication?
1. Boundaries
2. De triangulation
3. Conflict Resolution
4. Own goals and unhealthy cognitive distortions
5. Coping and truth within self (FAST)
6. Addressing faulty cognitions/ saboteurs