Communicating Like A Bawse-Lady
Percentage of communication that is verbal
Examples: “Stop complaining!”
“Stick up for yourself!”
“Just DO IT!”
May cause the other person to feel fearful, resistant or rebellious.
Ordering, Directing, Commanding. (Multiple Answers Can Apply)
Sounds, words, language and speaking are all examples of this
What is verbal communication
Hearing, thinking about and responding to another person's message
What is active listening
What communication skills was the Matchmaker looking for, when she requested Mulan to recite the Final Admonition?
Bonus points if you can name the two things this would bring Mulan, if she were to fulfill the Final Admonition successfully.
A) Not speaking without permission
B) Fulfill your duties calmly and respectfully
C) Reflect before you act
D) All of the above
E) B & C
E) B&C -These were what Mulan recited from the text she had scribbled on her arm.
Additionally, the Matchmaker did make a comment about Mulan speaking without permission when she was first called in to see her.
Bonus Points: Honor & Glory
MORE Bonus Points: How does this connect to our workplaces?
An occasional “yes” or “I see” shows the speaker that you are paying attention, still with them and invites the speaker to continue.
Using listening responses
Examples:
“You had better not do that if you know what’s good for you.”
“Get that done or else!”
“Don’t let Mr. K hear you sniveling about this or he’ll fire you.”
May result in fear, submission, testing the limits, rebellion or anger.
Warning, Admonishing, Threatening.
Text, email, blog, letters, journals are examples of
What is written communication
The use of visual clues to communicate a message
What is body language
What did Mulan-AKA-Ping do at the very beginning of their employment to frustrate their fellow soldiers in training?
Bonus Points if you can share what communication was like between Mulan and the other soldiers after that.
Bumped into someone. That action had a domino-effect of the pot of rice being spilled.
When it is important that you remember details or key points, don’t be afraid to ____. Occasions when this is appropriate include information interviews, staff meetings or when getting directions at work.
Taking Notes
Examples:
“Did you know that statistics show…”
“Most people in your situation choose to…”
“I think you have your facts wrong. Actually…”
Trying to influence the person with facts, logic or opinion. May cause arguments, defensiveness, feelings of inadequacy.
Lecturing, Teaching
Television, maps, photos, videos, charts, and graphs are examples of what?
What is visual communication
The ability to understand and show concern for another person's feelings
What is empathy
Sometimes communication from family about our job or career can end up filling us with pressure and self-doubt. How did this play out in Mulan's case?
*Multiple Answers are Acceptable*
Biases and prejudices that can get in the way of you really hearing someone.
Jumping To Conclusions
Examples:
“Sounds like your ego is being threatened.”
“It must be ‘that time of the month’ for you.”
“Sounds like you have a classic case of depression.”
Telling the person why they are a certain way, having the situation “all figured out”. May leave the person feeling threatened, frustrated, lead to fear, resentment or defensiveness.
Interpreting, Analyzing
Tone of voice, touch, smell and body language
What is non-verbal communication
A process in which a third party can helps those in conflict find a solution
What is mediation
During training, Mulan and her fellow soldiers were sent up a pole to retrieve something as a training exercise.
A) What did Mulan's achievement on the top of the training pole communicate to her fellow soldiers?
B) What were the two items that helped her achieve her goal?
C) What awaited her at the top of the pole?
Bonus Points if you can tell me what the items represented :o)
A) When you utilize creativity, you can inspire your colleagues (Multiple Answers can apply)
B) Weights
C) An arrow
Bonus Points Answer: Strength & Discipline
A pause – even a long one – does not necessarily mean the person has finished speaking. When someone pauses, what are we sometimes tempted to do?
Interrupt
Examples:
“Let’s look on the bright side.”
“You’ll feel differently tomorrow.”
“Speaking of problems did you hear what happened to Sue?”
May cause person to feel misunderstood, belittled.
Denying Importance of Feelings, Diverting
AKA-Toxic Positivity
The imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs.
What is communication
Signs that we show we are listening:
(Multiple Answers can apply)
-Eye Contact
-Head Nodding/Shaking
-Using verbal non-word response- -"Mhhmmm, Uh-Huh"
What was the army's reaction to finding out Mulan's secret, and what was their response?
What does this tell us about showing up in our workplace as our true selves?
*Multiple Answers can apply*