Communicating Like A Bawse-Lady
Percentage of communication that is verbal
Examples: “Stop complaining!”
“Stick up for yourself!”
“Just DO IT!”
May cause the other person to feel fearful, resistant or rebellious.
Ordering, Directing, Commanding. (Multiple Answers Can Apply)
Sounds, words, language and speaking are all examples of this
What is verbal communication
Hearing, thinking about and responding to another person's message
What is active listening
"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter-it is the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning."
Who said this?
-C.S. Lewis
-Mark Twain
-John Cena
An occasional “yes” or “I see” shows the speaker that you are paying attention, still with them and invites the speaker to continue.
Using listening responses
Examples:
“You had better not do that if you know what’s good for you.”
“Get that done or else!”
“Don’t let Mr. K hear you sniveling about this or he’ll fire you.”
May result in fear, submission, testing the limits, rebellion or anger.
Warning, Admonishing, Threatening.
Text, email, blog, letters, journals are examples of
What is written communication
The use of visual clues to communicate a message
What is body language
"I have made this longer than usual because I have not had time to make it shorter."
-Blaise Pascal
-Oprah Winfrey
-Cameron Diaz
Blaise Pascal
When it is important that you remember details or key points, don’t be afraid to ____. Occasions when this is appropriate include information interviews, staff meetings or when getting directions at work.
Taking Notes
Examples:
“Did you know that statistics show…”
“Most people in your situation choose to…”
“I think you have your facts wrong. Actually…”
Trying to influence the person with facts, logic or opinion. May cause arguments, defensiveness, feelings of inadequacy.
Lecturing, Teaching
Television, maps, photos, videos, charts, and graphs are examples of what?
What is visual communication
The ability to understand and show concern for another person's feelings
What is empathy
"Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind."
-Brene Brown
-Julia Roberts
-Priyanka Chopra
Brene Brown
Vagueness usually isn't gentleness, it's avoidance, and the other person ends up paying for it later.
Biases and prejudices that can get in the way of you really hearing someone.
Jumping To Conclusions
Examples:
“Sounds like your ego is being threatened.”
“It must be ‘that time of the month’ for you.”
“Sounds like you have a classic case of depression.”
Telling the person why they are a certain way, having the situation “all figured out”. May leave the person feeling threatened, frustrated, lead to fear, resentment or defensiveness.
Interpreting, Analyzing
Tone of voice, touch, smell and body language
What is non-verbal communication
A process in which a third party can helps those in conflict find a solution
What is mediation
"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."
-Tom Cruise
-Stephen Covey
-John Grisham
Stephen Covey
A pause – even a long one – does not necessarily mean the person has finished speaking. When someone pauses, what are we sometimes tempted to do?
Interrupt
Examples:
“Let’s look on the bright side.”
“You’ll feel differently tomorrow.”
“Speaking of problems did you hear what happened to Sue?”
May cause person to feel misunderstood, belittled.
Denying Importance of Feelings, Diverting
AKA-Toxic Positivity
The imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs.
What is communication
Signs that we show we are listening:
(Multiple Answers can apply)
-Eye Contact
-Head Nodding/Shaking
-Using verbal non-word response- -"Mhhmmm, Uh-Huh"
"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel"
-Maya Angelou
-Carl W. Buehner
-Anne Hathaway
Carl W. Buehner