Passive, aggressive, assertive, or passive aggressive
When a person states their needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
What is assertive communication?
Andrew is trying to tell his mom about something that happened at school but she is looking down at her phone the entire time and does not make eye contact with him. How does this make Andrew feel?
Andrew's mother is distracted and not actively listening to what he has to say. Andrew might be feeling ignored, unimportant and sad.
You are working on a group project. Both you and another group member have ideas that might be valuable to the group.
Assertive - It's most appropriate to speak up and share your ideas in a respectful way
“Your lunch looks disgusting.”
You are ALWAYS late and keep me waiting. It really makes me mad!
What is, "I feel frustrated and annoyed when we make plans and you are not ready at the time we agreed on"?
Someone cuts in front of you in line at the store.
Show a passive response.
A passive response might be to do and say nothing, to step aside, make excuses for their behavior, or apologize.
"Well she only has a couple of items anyway"
"that's okay, I'm not in a rush"
"I'm sorry for being in the way"
When someone speaks in a loud & demanding voice, interrupts frequently, and criticizes, blames, or attack others.
What is aggressive communication?
What is annoyance?
A para or recess teacher is giving you a consequence for getting into a fist fight with a classmate.
Passive
It is most appropriate to listen respectfully without interrupting
“I have 2 cats. Do you have any pets?”
What is say it
"Mom, I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit you bought me!"
What is, "Thank you for thinking of me but that isn't really my style. Did you keep the receipt because maybe we can go shopping and I can pick out something more my taste?"
A person in your group is making inappropriate jokes that are offensive to you.
Show an assertive response.
This response should express your feelings/needs/rights etc. and be communicated in a firm and calm way.
"I feel hurt by those jokes, and others might too. For us to have a good time it's important to be respectful of each other. I really like the jokes you made with the play on words!"
Your friend is failing Math and there is a very important test coming up. Your friend asks to cheat off of you and you agree even though you are uncomfortable doing so. What communication style is this?
What is passive communication?
Cory comes home from school and goes into her bedroom and slams the door loudly. How might Cory be feeling?
What is angry?
You and a friend are having a disagreement about a game you're playing.
Assertive - It's most appropriate to talk it out respectfully
"You look really fat in that leotard."
What is think it
"You always pick the worst movies to watch!"
What is: "Let's choose a movie we would both enjoy watching tonight"
Someone uses your favorite cup without asking.
Show an aggressive response.
An aggressive response would violate safety rules. It is often an impulsive overreaction. You might shout, criticize, or make threats.
"You IDIOT! You know that's my cup. Give it back to me or I'll kick you in the neck!"
You find out a friend from school did not invite you to their birthday party so you spread rumors that she has tested positive for Monkeypox so no one will want to be around her.
What is passive aggressive communication?
Michael holds the door for his neighbor who is holding heavy packages. What is Michael communicating?
Michael is being polite, considerate, and respectful.
You are in a store or another public place and notice that someone has been following you and your friend in a creepy way for the past 30 minutes.
Aggressive - It is appropriate to tell them to leave you alone in a strong, forceful way (but not attack them unless they try to hurt your body). Saying it loudly will let others around you know that you might need help. Being passive is dangerous in this situation.
"Your new glasses are ugly".
Think it
To your teacher, "You only gave me a failing grade because you hate me!"
What is, "Can we talk about my report card grade? I want to understand why I did so poorly and what I can do to improve my grade."
Your sister accidentally spills her drink on your important papers.
Show an aggressive response.
An aggressive response would violate safety rules. It is often an impulsive overreaction. You might shout, criticize, or make threats.
"You're so clumsy and now you've ruined everything! I'm going to get you for this!"
True or false: Communicating frequently in a passive manner can lower one's confidence and self-esteem.
What is true?
Emily is about to audition for the school play. She taps her foot while she is waiting for her turn and realizes she is sweating. Emily is feeling_____
What is anxious or nervous?
A classmate has said something or done something that makes you think they might not be safe.
What style should you use to talk to that classmate?
What style should you use to tell an adult?
If you talk to the classmate, you might be passive or assertive depending on how they are acting. If they are acting in an unsafe way, you might not say anything to them (passive) so you can get out of the situation and tell an adult. If they seem to be safe, you might be assertive and tell them you care and want them to get some help.
"What made you become a vegetarian?"
What is say it? (It's okay to ask someone this as long as you are mindful of your tone and are genuinely curious and not being judgmental of their choice not to eat meat)
Your roommate keeps leaving their dirty dishes on the counters, making it hard for you to cook meals.
Show a passive-aggressive response.
A passive-aggressive response might involve sarcasm, or sabotage. You might not say anything about the problem directly, but sabotage by putting the messy dishes in their room, or start doing other things to inconvenience them for revenge.
"Don't worry. I'm not busy or anything. I enjoy cleaning up your mess."