Passive, aggressive, assertive, or passive aggressive
When a person states their needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
What is assertive communication?
Andrew is trying to tell his mom about something that happened at school but she is looking down at her phone the entire time and does not make eye contact with him. How does this make Andrew feel?
Andrew's mother is distracted and not actively listening to what he has to say. Andrew might be feeling ignored, unimportant and sad.
You are working on a group project. Both you and another group member have ideas that might be valuable to the group.
Assertive - It's most appropriate to speak up and share your ideas in a respectful way
“Your lunch looks disgusting.”
We are ALWAYS late to school. It really makes me mad!
What is, "I feel frustrated when I show up late to school every day."
Someone cuts in front of you in line at the store.
Show a passive response.
A passive response might be to do and say nothing, to step aside, make excuses for their behavior, or apologize.
"Well she only has a couple of items anyway"
"that's okay, I'm not in a rush"
"I'm sorry for being in the way"
When someone speaks in a loud & demanding voice, interrupts frequently, and criticizes, blames, or attack others.
What is aggressive communication?
What is annoyance?
A teacher at recess is giving you a consequence for pushing a classmate on the playground.
Passive
It is most appropriate to listen respectfully without interrupting
“I have 2 cats. Do you have any pets?”
What is say it
"Mom, I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit you bought me!"
What is, "Thank you for thinking of me but that isn't really my style. Did you keep the receipt because maybe we can go shopping and I can pick out something more my taste?"
A person in your group at lunch is making inappropriate jokes that are hurtful to you and others.
Show an assertive response.
This response should express your feelings/needs/rights etc. and be communicated in a firm and calm way.
"I feel hurt by those jokes, and others might too. For us to have a good time it's important to be respectful of each other."
Your friend is failing Math and there is a very important test coming up. Your friend asks to cheat off of you and you agree even though you are uncomfortable doing so. What communication style is this?
What is passive communication?
Cory comes home from school and goes into her bedroom and slams the door loudly. How might Cory be feeling?
What is angry?
You and a friend are having a disagreement about a game you're playing.
Assertive - It's most appropriate to talk it out respectfully
"You look really fat in that leotard."
What is think it
"You always pick the worst movies to watch!"
What is: "Let's choose a movie we would both enjoy watching tonight"
Someone drinks out of your water bottle at school without asking.
Show an aggressive response.
An aggressive response would violate safety rules. It is often an impulsive overreaction. You might shout, criticize, or make threats.
"You IDIOT! You know that's my water bottle. Give it back to me now or else!"
You find out a friend from school did not invite you to their birthday party so you spread rumors that she has tested positive for Monkeypox so no one will want to be around her.
What is passive aggressive communication?
Michael holds the door for his neighbor who is holding heavy packages. What is Michael communicating?
Michael is being polite, considerate, and respectful.
You are in a store or another public place and notice that someone has been following you and your brother for the past 30 minutes. The stranger grabs your arm..
Aggressive - It is appropriate to tell them to leave you alone in a strong, forceful way (but not attack them unless they try to hurt your body). Saying it loudly will let others around you know that you might need help. Being passive is dangerous in this situation.
"Your new glasses are ugly".
Think it
To your teacher, "You only gave me a failing grade because you hate me!"
What is, "Can we talk about my report card grade? I want to understand why I did so poorly and what I can do to improve my grade."
Your little brother accidentally spills his drink on your homework papers that you just finished.
Show an aggressive response.
An aggressive response would violate safety rules. It is often an impulsive overreaction. You might shout, criticize, or make threats.
"You're so clumsy and now you've ruined everything! I'm going to get you for this!"
True or false: Communicating frequently in a passive manner can lower one's confidence and self-esteem.
What is true?
Emily is about to audition for the school play. She taps her foot while she is waiting for her turn and realizes she is sweating. Emily is feeling_____
What is anxious or nervous?
A classmate has said something hurtful to you on purpose.
What style should you use to talk to that classmate?
What style should you use to tell an adult?
If you talk to the classmate, you should communicate assertively or potentially aggressively to communicate that they need to leave you alone. If you are talking to a teacher, you should also communicate assertively.
"Why do you like minecraft more than fortnite?"
What is say it? (It's okay to ask someone this as long as you are mindful of your tone and are genuinely curious and not being judgmental of their choice)
Your little brother wants to play with you and won't leave you alone when all you want to do is read your book.
Show an assertive response.
I know you want to play right now, but I am busy reading my book. I can play with you later before dinner.