Identify
When a person states their needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
assertive communication
Someone cuts in front of you in line at school.
Show a passive response.
A passive response might be to do and say nothing, to step aside, make excuses for their behavior, or apologize.
"I'm sorry for being in the way"
“Your lunch looks disgusting.”
Think it.
Andrew is trying to tell his partner about something that happened earlier that day, but his partner is looking down at their phone the entire time and does not make eye contact with him.
How could this make Andrew feel?
Andrew may feel angry, annoyed, abandoned, cut off.
You are ALWAYS late and keep me waiting. It really makes me mad!
Something like: "I feel frustrated and annoyed when we make plans and you are not ready at the time we agreed on."
When a person states their needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully.
Assertive
A person in your group is making inappropriate jokes that are offensive to you.
Show an assertive response.
This response should express your feelings/needs/rights etc. and be communicated in a firm and calm way.
"I feel hurt by those jokes, and others might too. For us to have a good time it's important to be respectful of each other. I really like the jokes you made with the play on words!"
“I have 2 cats. Do you have any pets?”
Say it.
Emma's roommate reminds her to do her chores and Emma rolls her eyes.
What does this communicate to her roommate?
Emma rolling her eyes indicates she is annoyed, not taking the roommate seriously.
(To a friend who gave you a gift) "
I wouldn't be caught dead in that shirt you bought me!"
Something like: "Thank you for thinking of me, but this isn't really my style. Do you think we could shop together to exchange it?"
When someone speaks in a loud & demanding voice, interrupts frequently, and criticizes, blames, or attack others.
Aggressive
Someone uses your favorite pen without asking.
Show an aggressive response.
An aggressive response would violate safety rules. It is often an impulsive overreaction. You might shout, criticize, or make threats.
"Your new glasses are ugly."
Think it.
Cory comes home from work, goes into her bedroom, and slams the door loudly.
How might Cory be feeling?
Cory may be angry, unset, humiliated.
"You always pick the worst movies to watch!"
Something like: "I don't really feel like that kind of movie tonight. Let's choose another movie that we will both enjoy."
Your friend is failing Math and there is a very important test coming up. Your friend asks to cheat off of you and you agree even though you are uncomfortable doing so.
Passive
Your sister accidentally spills her drink on your important papers.
Show an aggressive response.
An aggressive response would violate safety rules. It is often an impulsive overreaction. You might shout, criticize, or make threats.
"You're so clumsy and now you've ruined everything! I'm going to get you for this!"
You have ketchup on your pants.
It depends on how well you know the person.
If they are a friend, you could say it respectfully.
If they are a stranger or an acquaintance, saying something could seem rude.
Michael holds the door for his neighbor who is holding heavy packages.
What is Michael communicating?
Michael is communicating politeness, consideration, and respect.
To your supervisor, - "You only gave me a bad review because you hate me!"
Something like: "Can we talk about my review? I want to do better on my next review. What do I need to do to raise my score next time?"
You find out a friend did not invite you to their party, so you start a rumor on social media that will make invited guests question whether or not to attend the party.
Passive-aggressive
Your roommate keeps leaving their dirty dishes on the counters.
Show a passive-aggressive response.
A passive-aggressive response might involve sarcasm, or sabotage. You might not say anything about the problem directly, but sabotage by putting the messy dishes in their room, or start doing other things to inconvenience them for revenge.
"Don't worry. I'm not busy or anything. I enjoy cleaning up your mess."
"Why do you celebrate Lunar New Year?"
Say it, as long as you are genuinely curious and use a respectful tone.
Emily is about to audition for the community play. She taps her foot while she is waiting for her turn and realizes she is sweating. Emily is feeling ....
.... anxious or nervous?
To your partner, - "You NEVER let me go out with my friends! We always have to go out with YOUR friends."
Something like: "I haven't seen my friends in a long time and I miss them. When is a good time for me to hang out with them?"