Passive, aggressive, assertive, or passive-aggressive
Being a passive communicator often can lead to lower confidence and self-esteem.
True or false:
True
Andrew is trying to tell his partner about something that happened earlier that day, but his partner is looking down at their phone the entire time and does not make eye contact with him.
How could this make Andrew feel?
Andrew may feel angry, annoyed, abandoned, cut off.
You are working on a group project. Both you and another group member have ideas that might be valuable to the group.
Assertive - It's most appropriate to speak up and share your ideas in a respectful way
“Your lunch looks disgusting.”
Think it.
You are ALWAYS late and keep me waiting. It really makes me mad!
Something like: "I feel frustrated and annoyed when we make plans and you are not ready at the time we agreed on."
When someone speaks in a loud & demanding voice, interrupts frequently, and criticizes, blames, or attack others.
Aggressive
Emma's roommate reminds her to do her chores and Emma rolls her eyes.
What does this communicate to her roommate?
Emma rolling her eyes indicates she is annoyed, not taking the roommate seriously.
Your boss is giving you a consequence for getting an important project turned in late. You know it was your fault the project was late.
Passive - It is most appropriate to listen respectfully without interrupting.
“I have 2 cats. Do you have any pets?”
Say it.
(To a friend who gave you a gift) "
I wouldn't be caught dead in that shirt you bought me!"
Something like: "Thank you for thinking of me, but this isn't really my style. Do you think we could shop together to exchange it?"
Your friend is failing Math and there is a very important test coming up. Your friend asks to cheat off of you and you agree even though you are uncomfortable doing so. What communication style is this?
Passive
Cory comes home from work, goes into her bedroom, and slams the door loudly.
How might Cory be feeling?
Cory may be angry, unset, humiliated.
You and a friend are having a disagreement about a game you're playing.
Assertive - It's most appropriate to talk it out respectfully
"Your new glasses are ugly."
Think it.
"You always pick the worst movies to watch!"
Something like: "I don't really feel like that kind of movie tonight. Let's choose another movie that we will both enjoy."
You find out a friend did not invite you to their party, so you start a rumor on social media that will make invited guests question whether or not to attend the party.
Passive-aggressive
Michael holds the door for his neighbor who is holding heavy packages.
What is Michael communicating?
Michael is communicating politeness, consideration, and respect.
You are in a store or another public place and notice that someone has been following you and your friend in a creepy way for the past 30 minutes.
Aggressive - It is appropriate to tell them to leave you alone in a strong, forceful way (but not attack them unless they try to hurt your body). Saying it loudly will let others around you know that you might need help. Being passive is dangerous in this situation.
You have ketchup on your pants.
It depends on how well you know the person.
If they are a friend, you could say it respectfully.
If they are a stranger or an acquaintance, saying something could seem rude.
To your supervisor, - "You only gave me a bad review because you hate me!"
Something like: "Can we talk about my review? I want to do better on my next review. What do I need to do to raise my score next time?"
When a person states their needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully.
Assertive
Emily is about to audition for the community play. She taps her foot while she is waiting for her turn and realizes she is sweating. Emily is feeling ....
.... anxious or nervous?
A co-worker has said something or done something that makes you think they might not be safe.
What style should you use to talk to that co-worker?
If you talk to the co-worker, you might be passive or assertive depending on how they are acting. If they are acting in an unsafe way, you might not say anything to them (passive) so you can get out of the situation and get assistance. If they seem to be safe, you might be assertive and tell them you care and want them to get some help.
To tell an adult, you should be assertive.
"Why do you celebrate Lunar New Year?"
Say it, as long as you are genuinely curious and use a respectful tone.
To your partner, - "You NEVER let me go out with my friends! We always have to go out with YOUR friends."
Something like: "I haven't seen my friends in a long time and I miss them. When is a good time for me to hang out with them?"