Conciseness (say what?)
Redundant and Useless Phrases
Affectation (dressed to *not* impress)
Nominalizations (zombie nouns)
Confused Words (this or that?)
Confusion & Ambiguity (Fix these modifiers)
Name that Old Saying
100

It could be argued that the most interesting and fascinating aspect of being a college student is interacting with classmates whose viewpoints are pretty different from yours. 

The most fascinating aspect of being a college student is interacting with classmates whose views are different from yours.

100

He found his neighbor who lived next door to be attractive in appearance.

He found his neighbor attractive.

100

After extensive nightly labors on an academic assignment, Sally needed a lengthy period of somnolence. 

After studying all night, Sally needed a long break.

100

Mercy Hospital made a decision to expand its geriatric facilities.

Mercy Hospital expanded its geriatric facilities.

100

Except or Accept? 

All the plantiffs ______ Mr. Kim decided to ______ the settlement.

All the plantiffs except Mr. Kim decided to accept the settlement.

100

The wrecking ball hit hard the wall of the building.

The wrecking ball hit the wall of the building hard.

100

The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled culinary receptacle does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit.

A watched pot never boils.

200

In the situation where a class is full, you may be added to the waiting list.

If a class is full, you may be added to the waiting list.

200

During the time when I lived in South Carolina, it was my intention to leave to go to college in Florida.

When I lived in South Carolina, I intended to go to college in Florida.

200

Attempts to interface inhomogeneous, non-synchronized systems with existing systems must not be attempted.

Don't try to connect anything incompatible to our system.

200

The steering committee raised an objection to the proposed parking garage north of the stadium.

The steering committee objected to the proposed parking garage north of the stadium.

200

Among or Between?

The relationship ______ the twins is different than that _____ the other children.

The relationship between the twins is different than that among the other children.

200

We almost lost all of the files.

vs

We lost almost all of the files.

The files were almost lost but were not.

Most of the files were in fact lost.

200

It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.

It's no use crying over spilled milk.

300

At this point in time we can't ascertain the reason as to why the screen door was left open.

We don't know why the screen door was left open.

300

If you go to the store, you will see that the store is closed on Sundays because the storeowner likes to go to church.

If you go to the store on Sundays, you will find it closed because the owner likes to go to church.

300

Elevated measures to augment decision-making capabilities must be undertaken.

We must try to make better decisions.

300

There were predictions by business executives that the economy would experience a quick revival.

Business executives predicted that the economy would quickly revive.

300

Affect or Effect?

The drug did not ______ the disease. Instead, it caused an adverse ______.

The drug did not affect the disease. Instead, it caused an adverse effect.

300

We sent the brochure to several local firms that had four-color art.

We sent the brochure that had four-color art to several local firms.

300

Missiles composed of arboreal xylem, or of petrous consistency, have the potential of fracturing my corporeal structure, but appellations will eternally remain innocuous. 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.

400

In this paper I will make the argument that in spite of the fact that video games are often tied and connected to violence, there is not sufficient data that exists to inconclusively prove that video game use necessarily leads to violence.

Even though video games are often tied to violence, there is insufficient data to prove this.

400

Many uneducated citizens who have never attended school continue to criticize the choices that the school decides on.

Many uneducated citizens continue to criticize the school's choices.

400

Smoking tobacco can cause humans to suffer unnecessary consequences.

Smoking is bad for our health.

400

A re-examination of the evidence led prosecutors to a reconsideration of the defendant's guilt.

Prosecutors re-examined the evidence and reconsidered the defendant's guilt.

400

Illicit or Elicit?

The police question criminals in an attempt to _______ the names of others involved in ______ activities.

The police question criminals in an attempt to elicit the names of others involved in illicit activities.

400

The equipment without the accessories sold the best.

vs

The equipment sold the best without the accessories.

Different types of equipment were available.

One type was available, and the accessories were optional.

400

Do not appraise a tome based singularly on its integument.

Don't judge a book by its cover.

500

Our website has made available many of the things you can use for making a decision on the best product.

Our website presents criteria for determining the best product.

500

Recommending that a student copy from another student's paper is not something he would recommend.

He wouldn't recommend that a student copy from another student's paper.

500

Meticulous and unremitting surveillance is necessitated if we are to ascertain the provenance of this problematic situation.

We must watch carefully to find out where the problem is coming from.

500

The production and advertisement of our product has been greatly affected by this trend.

This trend has greatly affected how we produce and advertise our product.

500

Past or Passed?

She ______ the hotel when she drove _____ the intersection.

She passed the hotel when she drove past the intersection.

500

We agreed on the next day to make the adjustments.

We agreed that on the next day, we would make the adjustments.

On the next day, we agreed that we would make the adjustments.

500

It is impossible to indoctrinate a superannuated canine in innovative maneuvers.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

600

It is the policy of the company to provide Internet access to enable employees to conduct the online communication necessary to satisfy their responsibilities; such should not be utilized for personal communications or nonbusiness activities.

Employee Internet access should be used only for appropriate company business.

600

There are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. It is they and their parents who stand to gain the most by the government grant.

Twenty-five students have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. They and their parents stand to gain the most by the government grant.

600

The legal corporation's monetary accumulation was insufficient for the entrepreneurial enterprise previously delineated in verbal form by its appointed facilitators.

The company didn't have enough money for the business venture its leaders had discussed.

600

Attempts by economists at defining full employment have generally been met with failure.

Economists have generally failed to define full employment.

600

Assure, Ensure, or Insure?

When the city rationed water to _______ that the supply would last, the Browns could no longer afford to ______ their car-wash business even though the city had ______ them this wouldn't happen.

When the city rationed water to ensure that the supply would last, the Browns could no longer afford to insure their car-wash business even though the city had assured them this wouldn't happen.

600

Your staffing-level authorization reassessment plan should result in a major improvement.

Your plan for reassessing the staffing-level authorizations should result in a major improvement.

600

Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles.

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

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