SCHOOL CONFLICT
You’re walking into class and another student looks at you, laughs, and says, “Why are you looking at me?”
What would you do?
A. Start arguing because they obviously have a problem with you.
B. Ignore it and take your seat.
C. Say something disrespectful back.
D. Tell your friends what happened and have them confront the person.
Best choice: B. Ignore the comment and remove yourself from the situation.
Bonus: What could happen if you chose C or D?
Your parent takes your phone because you broke a house rule. You think the punishment is unfair.
What would you do?
Best answer: Calm down, accept the immediate consequence, and ask to discuss the rule and punishment once everyone is calm.
Bonus: What happens when you argue while everyone is already angry?
You make a mistake and immediately think:
> “I always mess everything up.”
What should you do?
Best answer: Challenge the all-or-nothing thought and replace it with something more realistic, such as, “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it.”
Your friend calls you angry because someone fought them earlier. Your friend says:
“We need to go handle this.”
What would you do?
Best answer: Don't participate in retaliation. Encourage your friend to get somewhere safe and involve appropriate adults/authorities if necessary.
Bonus: Does supporting your friend always mean fighting for them?
Someone in your class creates a group chat and starts talking badly about you. They even post a screenshot of something embarrassing you said.
What would you do?
Best answer: Don't respond while angry. Save evidence if needed, leave/block the conversation, and bring the situation to a teacher, counselor, or administrator if it becomes harassment.
Bonus: Why can responding while angry make the situation worse?
Your parent tells you to clean your room. You respond, “You don't tell me what to do!”
The argument gets louder.
What could you do differently?
Best answer: Pause the argument, lower your voice, and communicate that you will address the issue once everyone is calm.
You text three people and nobody responds. You start thinking:
“Nobody cares about me.”
What would you do?
Best answer: Pause before assuming the thought is a fact. Consider other explanations and avoid making a major decision based solely on the emotion of the moment.
Bonus: What evidence do you actually have?
Someone tells you:
“If you're really with us, you'll fight this person.”
What would you do?
Best answer: Refuse to let someone else determine your choices. Real loyalty should not require you to risk your freedom or safety.
Bonus: What does real loyalty look like?
A student approaches you after school and says, “You’ve been talking about me. Say it to my face.”
Your friends are standing nearby and telling you, “Don’t let them punk you.”
What would you do?
Best answer: Don't let the crowd make the decision. Stay calm, don't threaten or fight, and walk away or get an adult/security involved.
Bonus: Is walking away being weak or controlling the situation?
Your curfew is 10:00 PM. You're having fun with friends and realize you're going to be late.
What would you do?
A. Turn your phone off so nobody can bother you.
B. Lie about where you are.
C. Call/text and communicate honestly that you're running late.
D. Stay out because you're already going to be in trouble.
Best choice: C.
Bonus: Why can communicating early sometimes reduce the consequences?
Someone says something disrespectful to you. Your heart starts racing, you're clenching your fists, and you're thinking about fighting.
What's happening?
Best answer: Your body is showing signs of emotional escalation. Recognizing those warning signs gives you an opportunity to step away before acting.
Bonus: Name three warning signs that tell you you're getting angry.
Someone posts:
“Everybody knows you're scared. Pull up if you're really about it.”
Your friends start tagging you.
What would you do?
A. Go meet them.
B. Post something threatening back.
C. Ignore/block/report and stay away.
D. Have your friends go instead.
Best answer: C.
Bonus: Why can social media make conflicts escalate faster?
You've already been warned about fighting at school. Someone intentionally bumps into you in the hallway and says, “What are you going to do about it?”
You know that if you fight, you could be suspended, lose privileges, or violate probation conditions.
What would you do?
Best answer: Recognize that the other person may be trying to get a reaction, disengage, and remove yourself from the situation.
Bonus: Which matters more in this moment: proving you're not scared or protecting your future?
our parent says, “Every time you come home, there's a problem.”
You immediately think, They don't understand me. They think I'm a bad person.
What would you do?
Best answer: Separate the parent's frustration from your identity. Ask what specific behavior they are concerned about rather than assuming they are attacking you as a person.
Bonus: What's the difference between “I made a bad choice” and “I'm a bad person”?
Your friends want you to go somewhere you know could get you into trouble.
One thought says:
“Just go. Nothing will happen.”
Another says:
“You already have probation. This isn't worth it.”
Which thought should you listen to and why?
Best answer: Consider the long-term consequences rather than the immediate excitement or pressure.
Bonus: What could you lose by making the impulsive choice?
Someone disrespects you in public. Your friends say:
“You can't let that slide.”
You're angry, but you know you're already on probation/parole.
Question: What is the difference between retaliation and protecting yourself?
Best answer: Retaliation is acting to get revenge after the immediate threat has passed. Protecting yourself involves getting away from danger and seeking appropriate help when necessary.
You've already been warned about fighting at school. Someone intentionally bumps into you in the hallway and says, “What are you going to do about it?”
You know that if you fight, you could be suspended, lose privileges, or violate probation conditions.
What would you do?
Best answer: Recognize that the other person may be trying to get a reaction, disengage, and remove yourself from the situation.
Bonus: Which matters more in this moment: proving you're not scared or protecting your future?
You and your parent are arguing. Your parent says something that really hurts your feelings. You feel yourself getting angry and want to say something you know will hurt them back.
What would you do?
Best answer: Take a timeout, leave the immediate argument if safe, regulate your emotions, and return to the conversation when you're calmer.
Bonus: Is having the last word worth damaging the relationship?
You have two choices tonight.
Choice A: Do something you know could lead to another arrest or probation violation.
Choice B: Go home, avoid the situation, and protect your future goals.
Which do you choose and why?
Process your answer.
Bonus: What is one goal you're currently working toward that could be affected by one bad decision?
You're invited to a party where you know there will probably be people fighting and people carrying things that could get you arrested.
Your friends tell you:
“Nothing is going to happen. Stop being paranoid.”
You have an important goal you are working toward.
What would you do?
Best answer: Don't go or leave if the environment becomes unsafe. Protecting your freedom, safety, and future goals is more important than proving yourself to friends.
Final Question:
What is harder: walking away from a situation or dealing with the consequences after you decide to stay? Explain your answer.