Communication
Styles
Styles
What are the four types of communication styles?
The four types of communication styles are passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive.
Do assertive communicators use "I" or "You" statements?
They use "I" statements. Assertive communicators know they can only speak for themselves when in a conflict.
What is conflict?
Conflict is a disagreement or argument that occurs between two or more people.
Which is the devil and which is the angel? Id? SuperEgo?
Id is the devil on your shoulder.
iD = Devil
SuperEgo is the angel on your shoulder.
SuperEgo = SuperHero = Good
What is ego?
Ego is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
Which communication style does someone speak in a loud, demanding voice, never takes responsibility, and may feel guilty afterward for upsetting the other person?
Aggressive communication
Who's needs do assertive communicators advocate for?
A. Their own opinion
B. Other people's opinions
C. Their own and other people's opinions
C. Their own & other people's opinions
Does conflict only affect a person negatively?
No! Conflict can lead to personal growth and development. Conflict can lead to healthier relationships and improved emotional skills when managed effectively.
Who is the "Ego" in a conflict?
The "Ego" is the two or more people who are involved in the conflict.
Would this person have a high or a low ego?
"I can't do anything right. Everyone in class is so much smarter than I am"
This person would have a low ego. They are looking down on themselves and have negative self-thoughts.
Which communication style tends to apologize frequently, avoids conflict, and does not advocate for themselves?
Passive communication
Assertive communicators use active listening skills when resolving their conflicts. What does "active listening" mean?
Active listening is fully focusing on and understanding what the other person is saying. They use active listening to see both sides of the situation and want to find a compromise that both people are happy with.
Name three people you may have a conflict with that needs to be resolved. Name three places where conflict can occur.
People: Parents, siblings, friends, partners, classmates, staff, roommates, co-workers, bosses
Places: school, home, work, grocery stores, parks, buses
Is the Id (devil on your shoulder) level conscious (things you learned growing up) or unconscious (things you want like a baby)?
The Id level is unconscious (things you want like a baby). It focuses on immediate pleasure and does not care about any consequences you learned growing up.
Does your ego change throughout your lifetime or only when you're an adult?
Which communication style says one thing & means another, uses backhanded compliments, and causes rumors to start?
Passive Aggressive communication
What type of body language do assertive communicators use?
Assertive communicators use direct, confident body language including good posture, eye contact, loud enough voice to be heard, and their head held high.
What does growth mindset mean?
Growth mindset means we can see both positive & negative aspects of a situation and can always try to learn from our experiences.
Which level of ego is talking during this situation? How did you know?
You and your roommate just had an argument. You think to yourself "We just had a big fight. I am so mad. I need to take some deep breaths to myself before I go talk to them so I don't yell."
This is your SuperEgo talking. You learned that it is not respectful to raise your voice at others and you know that's not how to solve conflicts using personal experiences you've had in your past. You know how to take deep breaths to relax since that's worked in past situations.
What does it mean when they say "that person has a huge ego."
This person has a high ego meaning they show people that they think positively about themselves. They typically think they are better than others & can sometimes be considered annoying.
Which communication style is direct, uses active listening, uses "I" statements, and leads to compromises?
Assertive Communication
Create an "I" statement using assertive communication to resolve this conflict:
Your friend promised you a ticket to a movie with them Friday night. When you called them after class, they told you they gave your ticket away to someone else.
Any statement starting with "I" that describes what they're thinking & feeling in a polite way would be a great way to settle this conflict while emotions are high.
"I am very upset that you gave my ticket away."
"I was looking forward to going to that movie with you. Why did you give my ticket away?"
"I need some space right now because I am upset with what you did."
Name 1 positive & 1 negative effect of conflict.
Positive: Emotions are under control, active listening, empathy, learning from others, tone of voice is stern & calm, strengthen trust in our relationships.
Negative: Emotions are out of control, we do/say things we later regret, tone of voice/body language is aggressive or unwelcoming, relationships may end, trust may be lost
Create a compromise to this conflict using these statements from your ego.
Your boss left out food in the break room for all of the employees. You noticed there was cookies, doughnuts, and pizza.
Id: "All of the food looks delicious. I really want to eat all of it."
SuperEgo: "You know the food is for all of the employees, you know how upset everyone will be if you eat all of it."
The appropriate compromise would be to have a small portion of the food so there's enough for everyone.
"I'll eat one slice of pizza, one cookie, and one doughnut so I am happy and everyone else can have one too!"
Is it better to have a high ego (you're better than everyone else) or a low ego (you're worse than everyone else)?
Neither are right or wrong but, we all want to fall somewhere in the middle. We need our ego's to be high enough where we have confidence in ourselves and can recognize our talents & strengths. We need our ego's to be low enough where we are humble, know there's always room to learn & improve, and can recognize that some people are better than us at different activities.