Reading Social Cues
You’re excited about a new video game and are telling your friend all about it. They keep checking their phone, nodding but not really responding, and glancing toward the door. You pause and say, “Hey, I feel like I’ve been talking a lot. Are you busy, or do you want to keep chatting?”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational and why?
Non-confrontational: This shows you’re aware of their body language and gives them a polite way to exit the conversation without feeling rude.
You walk up to a group of classmates who are already talking about their weekend plans. You jump in loudly, “Ugh, this conversation is so boring. Let’s talk about something else!”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational and why?
Non-confrontational: This makes others feel like their discussion isn’t important and might make them not want to include you.
Your best friend tells you something personal and asks you not to share it with anyone. Later, another friend asks about it. You say, “Okay, but don’t tell anyone…” and share the secret.
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Confrontational: This breaks your friend’s trust, making it harder for them to confide in you in the future.
You and your group members have different ideas about how to complete a big project, and no one can agree. You cross your arms and say, “You guys figure it out. I don’t even care anymore.”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Confrontational: This avoids solving the problem and makes it harder for the group to work together.
During a class discussion, a classmate shares an opinion that you strongly disagree with. You say, “I see where you’re coming from, but I have a different perspective. Can I share my thoughts?”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Non-confrontational: This acknowledges their opinion while expressing yours in a respectful way.
During a class discussion, you get excited and interrupt someone mid-sentence to share your thoughts. You realize what you did and say, “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to cut you off. Go ahead.”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Non-confrontational: This acknowledges the mistake, shows respect, and allows the other person to continue speaking.
You’re talking to a new classmate, and after a few sentences, the conversation starts to die down. You ask, “So, what do you like to do for fun?” or “How’s your day going so far?”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational and why?
Non-confrontational: Asking open-ended questions keeps the conversation going and shows that you’re interested in what they have to say.
You accidentally say something that upsets your friend. They seem hurt but haven’t said anything. You say, “Hey, I think what I said earlier might have hurt you. I’m really sorry— I didn’t mean it that way.”
Is this confrontational and non-confrontational, and why?
Confrontational: This shows you take responsibility for your actions and value their feelings.
You and your friend had an argument yesterday, and now things feel awkward between you. You say, “I don’t want to stay mad at each other. Can we talk about what happened and figure this out?”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Non-confrontational: This acknowledges the conflict and offers a chance to move forward.
Your friend seems sad and isn’t acting like their usual self. You say, “Ugh, why are you in such a bad mood? It’s not that big of a deal.”
is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Confrontational: This makes them feel like their emotions aren’t valid, which can damage trust in your friendship.
You notice your friend has been quiet all day, avoiding eye contact and giving short answers when you talk to them. You say, “Why are you being so boring today? You’re ruining the mood.”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Confrontational: This completely ignores their feelings and makes them feel worse instead of offering support
A friend tells you about their weekend trip with their family. You immediately start talking about yourself: “Oh, that’s cool. Anyway, my weekend was way more exciting…”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Confrontational: This makes it seem like you don’t care about what they’re saying and only want to talk about yourself.
You overhear someone spreading a false rumor about your friend. You say, “That’s not true. You shouldn’t spread things about people without knowing the facts.”
Non-confrontational: This defends your friend without escalating into an argument.
A classmate takes credit for an idea you came up with during a group discussion. You say, “I appreciate that you liked my idea, but I’d like to be recognized for contributing it.”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Non-confrontational: This calmly addresses the issue without being aggressive.
You see a friend looking uncomfortable when someone sits too close to them at lunch. You quietly ask your friend, “Hey, do you want to switch seats?” or politely remind the other person, “I think they need a little space.”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational and why?
Non-confrontational: This helps your friend without embarrassing them or making a scene.
You’re talking to a classmate and step closer to them, but they shift back slightly and avoid eye contact. You step even closer and laugh, saying, “Why are you moving away? Do I smell bad or something?”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Confrontational: This disregards their discomfort and makes them feel even more awkward
You’re chatting with a friend, but they keep looking at their phone and giving short answers. You pause and say, “Hey, I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy. Want to talk later?”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Non-confrontational: This acknowledges their body language and gives them an easy way to exit the conversation without feeling awkward.
You’re feeling upset about something and want to talk to your friend, but they seem distracted or uninterested. You say, “Wow, I guess you don’t even care about me.”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Confrontational: This puts pressure on your friend instead of recognizing that they might not be in the right mindset to listen.
Your friend borrows your pencil case without asking and doesn’t return it. You snap, “Why do you always take my stuff? Do you ever bring your own?”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Confrontational: This escalates the situation and makes the other person defensive instead of solving the problem.
You joke about something, but your friend looks upset and stops talking to you. You say, “Wow, you’re so sensitive. It was just a joke.”
Is this confrontational and non-confrontational, and why?
Confrontational: This invalidates their feelings and makes them feel worse instead of repairing the situation.
You text your friend in the afternoon, but they don’t reply all day, even though you see them posting on social media. You send another text saying, “Wow, guess I’m not important enough to get a response. Thanks a lot.”
Confrontational: This makes assumptions and creates unnecessary drama instead of giving them space.
A friend has been acting differently lately, and you want to check in. You say, “Why are you being so moody lately? It’s getting annoying.”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational and why?
Confrontational: This makes them feel judged instead of supported and could make them shut down even more.
Your friend promised to help you study for a test but canceled at the last minute without an explanation. You say, “Hey, I was really counting on you to help me study. Can we talk about what happened?”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Non-confrontational: You say, “Hey, I was really counting on you to help me study. Can we talk about what happened?”
A classmate makes a rude comment about your outfit in front of others. You say, “That was unnecessary. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk to me like that.”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Non-confrontational: This sets a boundary without getting aggressive or escalating the situation.
A new student in your class comes from a different country and speaks with an accent. Some classmates are giggling about how they pronounce certain words. You say, “That’s not cool. Everyone deserves respect, no matter where they’re from.”
Is this confrontational or non-confrontational, and why?
Non-confrontational: This stands up for them in a respectful way without escalating the situation.