Turn Taking
What is turn-taking in conversation?
Turn-taking is when one person listens while the other person speaks. One person plays the role as the speaker and the other person plays the role as the listener.
What is active listening?
Active listening is listening attentively to a speaker, understanding what they're saying, responding and reflecting on what's being said, and remembering the information.
What is topic maintenance?
Topic maintenance refers to the ability to keep to a single, or closely related topic for multiple speaking turns in an interaction.
Why is it important to take turns in conversation?
If you don’t take turns you may not hear what the other person is saying, and the other person may feel like you aren’t actually listening to what they have to say.
It ensures the other person hears what you are saying.
What do you do to show someone you are actively listening to someone?
Ask follow up questions (ask for clarification), summarize what they said, and nod your head in agreement.
Why is it important to maintain a topic during a conversation?
Keeping on topic is important when having a conversation. It shows the person you are talking to that you are paying attention to them and taking an interest in what they are saying.
What can you do if you notice someone else not taking their turn in the conversation (i.e. talking over you)?
You can stop talking, wait for the person to finish their point, and kindly ask them to listen to what you have to say instead of trying to speak at the same time. You might also say that you will do the same for them.
How might a person feel if you are not listening actively?
They might feel that their feelings are not being heard and that they are being ignored!
How is active listening important when trying to maintain a topic in conversation?
In communication, active listening is important because it keeps you engaged with your conversation partner in a positive way. It also makes the other person feel heard and valued. This skill is the foundation of a successful conversation in any setting.
Is cross talk (i.e. talking over one another) normal?
Yes, cross talk can be normal! Sometimes we both want to share, but what is important is that you respect one another and ensure that each person is being heard. At this point, you may want to pause your own sentence to ensure the other person is being heard, and they might do the same for you!
What are follow up questions and why are they important?
Follow up questions are questions you ask when you want to know more about what the person is telling you. Follow up questions are important because they show you are engaged but they can also be used for further clarification (e.g., if you do not understand what the other person said or you don’t know what something they said means).
What might you do if a friend is changing the topic when you were talking about something you like?
Have a discussion! Use your conflict resolution skills and tell them that it hurts your feelings when they dismiss your interests. You could also say in the moment "I wasn't done talking about ____."or "May I make one last point?" and continue on.
Case Study: Anna is talking to her friend, Charlie, about their favorite movie. Anna and Charlie are speaking at the same time trying to share aspects of their favorite movies. Are they taking turns? What is one strategy they can use to help them take turns?
No, they aren’t taking turns! Anna or Charlie could stop and wait patiently for the other to finish what they are trying to say. Then they could ask the other to listen before replying.
Example Response: “I’m finding it hard to concentrate when we’re both speaking at the same time and I don’t know if you’re feeling the same way. Could we talk one at a time to make sure we understand each other?”
Case Study: Tina and her best friend Kara are having a conversation. Tina is telling Kara about a problem she is experiencing at school. How can Kara show Tina she is actively listening to what she has to say? What are some follow up questions Kara can use to ask Tina?
Kara can ensure she is responding to Tina by turning towards her and nodding her head as Tina shares her experience. As Tina continues to share, she may summarize what Tina has said and her concerns without judgement. Kara can respond empathically by saying something like, "Tina I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I can only imagine how you feel." Then, Kara might ask Tina if there is any way she can support her during this time.
Case Study: Johnny and Rick are having a conversation about video games. Johnny is telling Rick all about his favorite game, Call of Duty. Rick is not interested in the game Johnny is talking about. What can Rick do to maintain the topic of video games?
Examples: Rick can tell Johnny he enjoys video games too but his favorite is Fortnite. Then, Rick may ask about Call of Duty to see if there are any similarities between the two games.