ANGER
What does it mean when someone says that anger is a secondary emotion?
It means that anger typically happens after feeling another emotion first, such as sadness, embarrassment, frustration, jealousy, or worry.
Tell me about your favorite coping skill to use when feeling angry or upset?
:)
What is the definition of a somatic symptom?
A somatic symptom is anything that we feel in our bodies, such as a headache, stomachache or a fast heartbeat.
What is the meaning of a "trigger for anger?"
Anything that typically cause us to feel angry or frustrated.
If friends are playing outside and I ask to join them, but they say they already have enough players. I feel mad. What feeling may be underneath my anger?
I may feel left out, embarrassed, jealous, afraid no that one likes me, hurt, sad, insecure, etc.
Think of a time when you were actually sad, worried, embarrassed, tired, or overwhelmed, but acted angry instead. How may it have been helpful to recognize the underlying emotion?
answers will vary.
Name 3 coping skills that you don't typically use, but would be willing to try in the future?
Taking a walk, reading a book, doing artwork, taking a nap, snuggling a pet, take pictures outside, journal, listen to music, splash cold water on your face.....etc.
You overhear your friends talking and they say that the last time they played with you, you didn't make it fun for everyone else. What might you feel in your body?
Tense muscles, balled fists, fast heartbeat, hot face, racing thoughts, loud voice, urge to move, stomach hurts.
What are 2 of your main triggers for anger?
Feeling left out, being ignored, someone being rude or hurtful, etc.
I have practice after school and a big project due the next day. I get home from school, and my parents say that I am not doing anything until my room gets cleaned. I feel mad. What feeling may be underneath my anger?
I may be feeling tired, overwhelmed, or worried that my parents feel disappointed in me.
What is the first step to coping with anger positively?
Noticing that we are angry.
What is a way of coping that can actually be unhelpful?
Yelling at someone else
Throwing things/breaking things (unless in an appropriate way)
Drugs/alcohol/ smoking
risk taking behaviors
Why does it make sense that someone else may be able to actually see when we are upset?
Because they may be able to notice us stomping our feet, clenching our fists, having a red face, tight muscles, or a loud voice.
Are people's triggers for anger always the same?
No, everyone has different anger triggers. We may all get upset by similar things, but each of us have different things that tend to be more of a struggle for us than others.
A friend tells me that they think that my favorite tv show is stupid and for little kids. I feel angry. What may be hiding underneath.
Embarrassed, sad, insecure, disappointed, hurt.
Once I notice that I am feeling angry, what may be a good question to ask myself?
I wonder what the underlying emotion to this anger is?
Your friend just got cut in front of at the lunch line and they are really mad. What could you do to help them work through their anger in a positive way?
Allow them to talk about their feelings of frustration.
Ask an adult for help.
Remind them to take deep breaths.
Squeeze a stress toy/use progressive muscle relaxation.
When was a time that you felt angry? Where did you feel it in your body?
answers will vary.
What is an anger trigger you have, and one way you can help yourself when feeling upset?
When someone is mean to someone else. I can stick up for my friend and disagree with someone else's rude statements.
I thought that I did really well on a project for class, but when I get it back from my teacher, it says, "please see me" on the paper. I'm frustrated that the teacher didn't seem to like my project that I worked really hard on. What else may I be feeling?
Sad, disappointed, embarrassed, frustrated, worried, hurt, insecure.
If I know that every time I try something new and have a hard time with it, I get angry, what can I do to help myself during these times.
Use positive self-talk. (If I keep practicing, I can do this) Have a growth mindset, and recognize that each attempt helps me to learn, and that it is brave to try new things, especially when it is difficult.
Your friend tells you that they forgot that they didn't pack their lunch that day and didn't order a school lunch either. They are tired and hungry after school that day. Is it a good time to ask them to do a favor for you?
Probably not. People can struggle to help or be nice when they are too tired and too hungry. Wait to ask about things that are important to you until the person you are asking is in a calm state.
(Extra credit: How would you know that they are in a calm state?)
When was a time when you noticed someone else get angry? How can it be helpful to notice if someone else is getting upset?
Then we can anticipate how others may react. If I know that you are upset right now, I will know that you may need to use a coping skill to calm down before I am able to talk to you in a productive/helpful way.
Our behavior tells a story. I see a friend rip up and throw their paper into the garbage. What do you think is happening and how do you think you could help?
Your friend is probably feeling frustrated or angry about how their work is going. Giving them space and time to work through their feelings may be the best bet in this scenario, even though you may want to say words of encouragement.
I go over to play at my friend's house, but every game that I suggest we play, they say "no" to. I'm mad. What else may be hiding underneath?
Frustration, tiredness, disappointment, insecurity, hurt.