WHY... JUST WHY?!
THE DEVICE YOU PUT ONTO SOMEONE'S FINGER TO OBTAIN THEIR HEART RATE AND SP02. OF COURSE, IT DIDN'T WORK THIS TIME BECAUSE OF THEIR ACRYLIC NAILS.
WHAT IS A PULSE OXIMETER?
YOUR PATIENT INSISTS THEY ARE ALLERGIC TO TYLENOL, BUT THEN DEMANDS A SCRIPT OF THIS - AN OPIOID AND TYLENOL COMBO PILL.
WHAT IS HYDROCODONE/OXYCODONE-ACETAMINOPHEN, VICODIN, PERCOCET, ETC
THIS NEW PROGESTIN-ONLY BIRTH CONTROL PILL IS INDICATED FOR FEMALES WITH A HISTORY OF DVT.
WHAT IS SLYND
THIS LARGEST MUSCLE IN THE BODY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR 99% OF SELFIES TAKEN AT THE GYM.
WHAT IS THE GLUTEUS MAXIMUS
ONCE ADMITTED IN THE HOSPITAL, THE NURSE TELLS YOU THAT YOU'RE "NPO", ALSO KNOWN AS THIS.
WHAT IS NOTHING BY ORAL ROUTE
THE VITAL SIGN MOST LIKELY TO MYSTERIOUSLY INCREASE WHEN YOU SAY, "OKAY, JUST RELAX."
WHAT IS BLOOD PRESSURE
WHAT IS A TURKEY SANDWICH
EXPOSURE TO COVID-19? YOU CAN STOP THE VIRUS IN ITS TRACK WITH THIS NEW MEDICATION RECENTLY APPROVED BY THE FDA.
WHAT IS XOCOVA
THIS BUTTERFLY-SHAPED GLAND SITS IN THE NECK AND REGULATES METABOLISM. MOTHER NATURE DECIDED THAT ENDOCRINE ORGANS SHOULD HAVE FUN SHAPES!
WHAT IS THE THYROID
TIME FOR A LITTLE NAP. THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST PUSHES "MILK OF AMNESIA", AKA THIS, THROUGH YOUR IV.
WHAT IS PROPOFOL
YOU CAN'T TREAT A COLD WITH A Z-PAK. SOMETIMES YOU THINK THAT PATIENTS NEED TO GO BACK TO MIDDLE SCHOOL SCIENCE CLASS WHERE YOU LEARNED ABOUT THESE THREE TYPES OF PATHOGENS.
WHAT ARE BACTERIA, VIRUSES, AND FUNGI
YOUR PATIENT IS VERY HYPERTENSIVE, BUT ONLY TAKES THEIR LOSARTAN "WHEN THEY NEED IT". YOU MIGHT REFER TO THE PATIENT AS THIS TERM, MEANING THEY DON'T FOLLOW THE DOCTOR'S ORDERS.
WHAT IS NONCOMPLIANT
NEED TO DROP A FEW POUNDS? YOUR DOCTOR MIGHT CONSIDER THIS TYPE OF MEDICATION, PREVIOUSLY USED TO MANAGE DIABETES.
WHAT IS A GLP-1
THIS TINY STRUCTURE HANGS FROM THE SOFT PALATE IN THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT... LIKE THE BODY'S TINIEST LITTLE PUNCHING BAG.
WHAT IS THE UVULA
YOU'RE HAVING AN APPENDECTOMY BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN HAVING PAIN IN THIS AREA OF YOUR ABDOMEN.
WHAT IS THE RIGHT LOWER QUADRANT
THE PHYSICIAN ORDERS A DIABETIC FOOT EXAM FOR YOUR NON-COMPLIANT DIABETIC PATIENT. YOU GO INTO THE EXAM ROOM, PULL OFF THE PATIENT'S SOCK, BUT SOMETHING ROLLS ON THE FLOOR. OH MY GAWD, IT'S A TOE! BUT DON'T WORRY... YOUR PATIENT COULDN'T FEEL IT BECAUSE THEY LIKELY HAVE THIS.
WHAT IS DIABETIC NEUROPATHY
THE PATIENT ARRIVES 2 HOURS LATE TO THEIR VISIT. YOU INFORM THE PATIENT THAT YOU ALREADY MARKED THEM AS A THIS.
WHAT IS A NO-SHOW
LISDEXAMFETAMINE, ALSO KNOWN BY THIS BRAND NAME, RECENTLY LOST ITS BRAND NAME PATENT.
WHAT IS VYVANSE
THIS ORGAN PRODUCES BILE, STORE GLYCOGEN, AND DETOXIFIES VARIOUS SUBSTANCES. BASICALLY, IT HAS 47 JOBS BUT NOBODY EVER THANKS IT.
WHAT IS THE LIVER
BEFORE YOUR MEDICAL TEAM STARTS THE SURGERY, THEY MAY TAKE A THIS TO VERIFY YOUR IDENTITY, THE PROCEDURE, AND THE SURGICAL SITE.
WHAT IS A TIME OUT
"YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DRAW BLOOD ON ME WITH THAT BIG NEEDLE! I ALWAYS NEED A" THIS TYPE OF SMALLER NEEDLE USED FOR VENIPUNCTURE.
WHAT IS A BUTTERFLY
YOUR PATIENT HAS 16 ACTIVE DIAGNOSES AND IS TAKING 24 MEDICATIONS. AT THIS POINT, IT'S NO LONGER APPROPRIATE FOR YOUR PATIENT TO SEE A PRIMARY CARE PROVIDER, SO YOU ENCOURAGE THE PATIENT TO SCHEDULE WITH THIS SUB-SPECIALTY OF PRIMARY CARE DESIGNED FOR HIGHER ACUITY.
WHAT IS INTERNAL MEDICINE
THIS MEDICATION RECENTLY LOST IT'S EMERGENCY AUTHORIZATION USE UNDER THE PANDEMIC.
WHAT IS MOLNUPIRAVIR
THIS IS THE ONLY BONE IN THE HUMAN BODY WITH TRUST ISSUES - MEANING THAT IT DOESN'T DIRECTLY ARTICULATE WITH ANY OTHER BONE.
WHAT IS THE HYOID
WELP. THIS IS THE SURGEON'S FIRST DAY ON THE JOB AND IT'S NOT GOING WELL. THEY PROBABLY NEED THIS SURGICAL INSTRUMENT TO CLAMP THE BLOOD VESSEL THEY ACCIDENTALLY SLICED INTO.
WHAT IS A HEMOSTAT