Five Kids, One Minivan
Nothing says “family bonding” like a midnight beer run through downtown Tampa on a wobbly rental with one working brake. Add a horror-movie gas station stop, and you’ve got a core memory.
What are Scooters?
This hybrid nickname was forged during family visits when the lines between “Jim-arita time” and endless Terry-led Q&As blurred into one unstoppable parental force. When they arrive together, this is how we refer to the duo that’s ready to hydrate you and interrogate you.
What is “Jerry”?
“One… Two… Three… Hammer.” If your psychic powers are synced, you celebrate. If not, you spend the next 10 minutes arguing about how “Hammer” and “Stapler” are basically the same. This game is friendship telepathy at its finest.
What is “Wavelength”?
Long before superheroes hit the big screen, this caped crusader only wore briefs
What is "Underwear Man"?
Said sternly to dogs, children, and occasionally adults, this go-to phrase is used whenever someone — or something — tries to take what does not belong to them. Most often directed at Nova with a snack in her mouth.
What is “Not Yours”?
This Panama City Beach dinner staple, often referred to as “the spider of the sea,” brings joy, garlic butter, and mild hand injuries to the whole family.
What are Crab Legs?
She’s soft, sweet, and aggressively affectionate — earning this huggable nickname that’s part Care Bear, part emotional support system.
What is “Terr-Bear”?
This board game forces you to be both mysterious and psychic. It usually ends with someone yelling “THAT CLUE MADE NO SENSE!” while the spymaster quietly questions their own intelligence.
What is “Code Names”?
Back in the glory days of 2015 cringe, Dawson and Weston used this app to re-enact Step Brothers quotes with full commitment — zero shame, full volume, and 14 takes per clip.
What is “DubSmash”?
Spoken tearfully and with dramatic flair, this name is what Kia calls for when things are falling apart emotionally. Usually accompanied by tears, tiny arms reaching up, and a full toddler meltdown.
What is “Gi-Gi”?
This scenic mountain getaway promised skiing, fresh air, and cozy cabins — but instead delivered altitude sickness, pneumonia, and the realization that Colton’s lungs were not built for the Wild West.
What is Breckenridge?
Equal parts man and yeast, this artisanal remix was born from a sourdough obsession and a refusal to use store-bought bread like a mere mortal.
What is “Jim-Dough”?
The fort still stands deep in the woods — a relic of our childhood and the battlefield. Also a recent legendary bachelor party showdown between JT and Colton. It was welts. It was blood. It was war
What is “Paintball”?
Dawson’s breakout role in this zero-budget masterpiece featured dramatic slow-motion kicks, golden-hour lighting, and a cameraman who famously ate it mid-shot — proving that real cinema is about sacrifice.
What is “Soccer in the Sunset”?
Every hug came with this loving phrase — a gentle challenge from our grandmother that wrapped affection in playful competition. It wasn’t just something she said; it was how she made sure we always knew we were deeply loved.
What is “Love you more than you love me”?
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day — which explains why we just ate sugar at this bakery. Bonus hint: its name is also someone’s middle name.
What is Thomas Donuts?
It’s what we call the tiniest new family member currently under construction.
What is “Poppy”?
Two sides. One table. No rules. This game draws its name from one of the most divisive conflicts in American history — and while no actual soldiers are involved, casualties have included pride, hydration, and at least one table centerpiece
What is “Civil War”?
Classic sibling bonding — if you define bonding as three older brothers using karate belts to restrain the youngest
What is “The Karate Belt Incident”?
A signature dad-ism, this phrase gets deployed in moments of surprise, amazement, or when something mildly interesting happens — like a perfect golf shot, a big fish, or seeing bacon on sale. Think of it as Jimbo’s version of amazement.
What is “Holy Smokes”?
On a guys’ trip to North Carolina, boredom, engineering confidence, and zero adult supervision collided to create this overly complex system — featuring household junk, unnecessary physics, and hours of effort — all to accomplish the world’s least efficient task: waking someone up.
What is a Rube Goldberg Machine?
A childhood classic, this nickname emerged the moment a jersey lost a vowel — and a personality was born.
What is “Dudles”?
It’s your first day on the job. You don’t know your title, your coworkers are just wildly gesturing, and no one will explain what’s going on — yet somehow, by the end, you’re expected to confidently declare the role. Welcome to this high-stakes game of interpretive onboarding.
What is “Occupational Telephone”?
While some teams strike fear with fierce mascots, Dawson's youth baseball crew team name— playing at Winthrop Park with enough swagger to make Tony the Tiger jealous.
What is “Golden Flakes”?
It’s never the start of the goodbye — it’s the transition into the longest goodbye in family history. This classic sign-off usually follows three failed attempts to end the call.
What is “I’ll let you go”?