Chapter 9: Move to Action
There are 4 common ways of making decisions: Command, Consult, Vote, Consensus. What would you utilize in your decision making?
Consensus
What emotion is the 'biggest challenge' in "yeah...but" crucial conversations?
Respect
What skill is being practiced when you don't have to "win" every crucial conversation?
Focus on what you really want (Ch. 3). To quote Gino, "At the end of the day, it's not about proving the other person wrong, it's about making sure you understand each other."
When turning decisions over to others do you feel that it is because the issue is low stakes or we completely trust the other person's ability to decide?
A team with BAD communication during crucial topics _________ away during tough conversations
walk
As you look at when a conversation becomes crucial, why is it important to understand your Style Under Stress?
To avoid your silence or violence habits and be more aware of the other person's actions and habits (Ch. 4).
My family
Deference -or what feels like 'kissing up'- is usually caused by leaders inciting what?
Fear
You're significant other comes home from work and is on the verge of tears because of something that happened at their workplace. As they tell you what happened, you notice that they're blaming their coworker for everything and that they did this on purpose. What kind of story is this, and what specific tool are they using?
They're telling a Villian Story and are using a double standard to paint their coworker in an unfair caricature (Ch. 6).
Voting is valuable when there are a number of good options. A team member is reacting poorly that their vote didn't win. How do you approach it?
Tell them their vote was still valuable and give insight why the other may work better
Your teammate has violated your trust in the past. You are not sure if you can trust this person again.
What is your first step in reestablishing trust with that individual?
Attempt to trust them in the moment. Separate the moments and the person, don't let mistrust in one area bleed into your overall perception of an individual
A conversation consists of a free flow of meaning and to help others leave Silence & Violence behind. As we explore someone else's path and prepare to use our ABC's, what's the purpose of the ABC's?
To avoid any unnecessary arguments and present the difference in your views (Ch. 8).
Consensus should only be used if everyone absolutely agrees. How do you center yourself to be that position of authority to influence others?
Back up my decisions with facts, listen to any opposition to decision and respond, make sure those deciding beside you are worth involving
You are working on the most important project of the year. Your leader gave you until the end of the week to finish and wants a flawless final draft. On Monday afternoon you encounter an issue that doesn't seem like a quick fix. Do you a.) try to fix the problem and reach out Wedneday if you can't? or b.) address the problem with your leader on Monday and find a new plan of action?
b.) address the problem head-on
How can we, as lower-level employees and young(ish) adults, utilize the aforementioned skills and have those crucial conversations?
Position doesn't matter, and neither does age. "Crucial Conversations belong to the first person to see them. Don't solve the issues, but be sure they are brought up in a safe way."
There is no cruise control for these kinds of conversations, we must be alert all the time.