What are the three elements of a Crucial Conversation?
100
Where we often go when we don't feel safe in a crucial conversation
What is silence or violence?
100
What we see and hear; the story we tell ourselves; how our story makes us feel; the action we take based on our feelings
What is The Path to Action?
100
Share your facts; Tell your story; Ask for others’ paths; Talk tentatively; Encourage testing
What does STATE stand for?
100
The facts, experiences, opinions and feelings held by participants in a conversation that are understood and appreciated by all.
What is the Pool of Shared Meaning?
200
The free flow? of meaning between two or more people
What is dialogue?
200
What you focus on first in preparing for a Crucial Conversation
What it is that you REALLY want?
200
FACTS are visible and verifiable;
STORIES are judgments, conclusions and attributions
What is the difference between facts & stories?
200
“You are a total flake!” ?Story or fact?
What is a Story?
200
When we face a crucial conversation and feel we have to choose between responding with silence or with violence.
What is a Fool's Choice?
300
The diagnostic tool we use to determine the crucial conversation we need to hold.
What is CPR?
300
Be Right; Look good/safe face; Keep the peace; Win; Punish/blame; Avoid conflict
What are unhealthy motives of dialogue?
300
Victim,?Villain & ?Helpless
What are the three clever stories?
300
“Of the last 10 meetings you’ve missed seven and been late for the other three.”? Story or Fact?
What is a fact?
300
When faced with danger, our brain diverts tough jobs from the prefrontal cerebral cortex to this part of the brain.
What is the brain stem or "reptilian brain?"
400
A single instance of a problem
What is a content problem?
400
Learn; Find the truth; Produce results; Strengthen relationships
What are the Motives of Dialogue?
400
Victim: Am I pretending not to notice my role?
?Villain: Why would a reasonable, rational an decent person do this?
?Helpless: What should I do right now to move toward what I really want?
What questions do we ask to lead away from telling those clever stories?
400
If we’re too forceful in sharing our facts and stories with people we are not speaking ________
What is tentatively?
400
Anytime you find yourself stuck, there's a crucial conversation you're either not holding or not holding well.
What is the Law of Crucial Conversations?
500
A problem that is affecting your relationship—e.g. trust is suffering
What is a relationship problem?
500
1.) What am I behaving like I want?
2.) What do I really want?
3.) How would I behave if I really did?
What questions should we ask ourselves to keep focus in crucial conversation?
500
Turn yourself from Victim to Contributor; Turn others from Villains to Humans; Turn yourself from Helpless into Able
What do we do to avoid giving in to the three clever stories?
500
In order to make it safe for others to hear our views, we start with _________
What are facts?
500
A mythical creature with three heads. One can only tell facts, one can only tell stories and one can only ask questions.