Get Unstuck/
Start w Heart
Master my Story
State my Path/
Learn to Look
Make it Safe
Explore others'
Paths
100
The facts, experiences, opinions, and feelings held by participants in a conversation that are understood and appreciated by all.
What is the Shared Pool of Meaning?
100
See & Hear, Tell a Story, Feel, Act
What are steps in Path to Action?
100
Share your facts, Tell your story, Ask for others' path
What are the three 'What Skills' for the State My Path tool?
100
You believe that I care about your goals and vice versa.
What is Mutual Purpose?
100
We help others move out of silence or violence when we do this.
What is listening... (help others talk about their facts and feelings)
200
High stakes, opposing opinions, and strong emotions.
What makes a conversation crucial?
200
Looking at the Facts vs. What you thought about the situation.
What is 'Separate Fact from Story?'
200
Talk Tentatively, Encourage Testing
What are the two 'How Skills' in the State my Path tool?
200
When respect is violated this is the first step back toward dialogue.
What is an Apology?
200
The feeling you need to have and show when asking a question of another.
What is genuine interest?
300
Breaking a complex problem into its various parts...content, pattern, relationship
What is unbundling with CPR?
300
Victim, Villian, Helpless
What are three clever stories?
300
Any action a person takes to withhold information from the pool of meaning.
What is Silence?
300
What I don't want is... what I do want is...
What is a Contrasting statement?
300
'You're saying X, but your tone of voice and posture say Y.'
What is Mirroring?
400
The first thing that deteriorates during a crucial conversation (not our behavior...)
What is 'motive' in a crucial conversation?
400
Assessing your role in a problem, humanizing others, and turning yourself from helpless to able.
What is 'Tell the Rest of the Story?'
400
Any action a person takes to compel others toward your point of view
What is Violence?
400
The first step to break an impasse is to commit to seek the interest of others, find a common goal.
What is 'Commit to seek a Mutual Purpose?'
400
To build additional safety, restate in your own words what you just heard.
What is Paraphrasing?
500
What is it I really want (for myself, others, the relationships?
What is the question to ask yourself to get your heart right?
500
'Why would a reasonable, rational and decent person do this?'
What is the question we can ask to turn villians into humans.
500
When our own emotions and the physical responses intensify...
What are signs we can recognize that a conversation is turning crucial?
500
This is when we come up with New Ideas for reaching our Mutual Purpose.
What is Brainstorming New Strategies?
500
When you are getting nowhere in the conversation and people still may feel unsafe, you can take a guess at why they're feeling what they are.
What is Priming?
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