Facts, opinions, experiences, and feelings held by participants in a conversation - understood and appreciated by all.
What is Pool of Shared Meaning?
100
By understanding what I really want, I get my _______ right.
What is Heart?
100
First, you see or hear; Second, you tell a story; Third, you generate a feeling; Fourth, you act.
What is the Path To Action?
100
How to speak persuasively, not abrasively.
What is State My Path?
100
Step out of the conversation when you see signs of silence or violence.
What is the first step in the process to restore safety?
200
Opposing opinions, Strong emotiions, High stakes
What are the three elements that make a conversation crucial?
200
I get my head right when I _________________ & _________________.
What is Master My Stories and Create New Emotions?
200
Stories are judgments, conclusions, and attributions.
How are stories different from facts?
200
Facts are facts, Facts are more persuasive, Facts are the least insulting.
What are the benefits of starting with facts?
200
You believe I care about your goals and vice versa.
What is Mutual Purpose?
300
Content, Pattern, Relationship
What is the method used to unbundle a complex problem?
300
To learn, Find the Truth, Produce Results, Strengthen Relationships.
What are the Motives of Dialogue?
300
Downward Spiral
What keeps us trapped in our strong emotions?
300
Facts by themselves don't always paint the whole picture.
What is, Why tell your story?
300
People rarely become defensive about what you're saying (content), they become defensive about ...
What is your Intent?
400
Bad results you want to fix, good results you'd like to achieve, and problems you are always trying to fix?
What are questions to help you explore where you are stuck?
400
Asking "What do I really want
For myself
For others
For the relationship
For the organization
What is restarting your brain to change your motive?
400
We tell these types of stories to make us feel good about poor results or ruined relationships.
What are clever stories? Victim, Villain, & Helpless
400
When we're tentative, we can speak with confidence but not in absolutes.
What is the difference between being tentative and being wimpy or forceful?
400
Using a Don't/Do statement to address misunderstandings.
What is Contrasting?
500
I've told my co-worker multiple times that I'm not interested in anything more than a working relationship. The flower delivery on my desk this morning suggests my message hasn't been understood. I am feeling very uncomfortable.
What is addressing a relationship issue as the real problem? or What is needing to have a crucial conversation about how this behavior is affecting your working relationship?
500
I've rebuffed this person's advances and they still persist. This calls for a practical joke that causes embarassment in front of other co-workers!
What is contributing to the problem as your motive degrades to a form or punishment?
500
To turn others from villains into humans, ask the "humanizing question"?
Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do this?
500
The real test of whether your motive is to win a debate or engage in real dialogue ...
What is the degree to which you encourage testing?
500
If you believe there is a high likelihood that the other person will misunderstand your intent...