Be Impeccable
According to Ruiz, these can be used to create or destroy, especially the ones we say to ourselves.
What are words?
According to Ruiz, other people's actions usually reflect this—not your worth.
What is their own internal state (or their own dream)?
What is their own
Your brain uses this to predict what will happen next.
What is past experience?
According to Ruiz, this changes every single day.
What is your best?
This agreement is connected to Mindfulness.
What is Be Impeccable With Your Word?
Saying "I relapsed" instead of "I'm hopeless" is the difference between these two things.
What are a description and a verdict?
DBT tells us to do this before reacting emotionally.
What is Check the Facts?
Ruiz says almost all conflict comes from not doing these two things.
What are asking and telling?
Recovery isn't about this; it's about consistency.
What is perfection?
This agreement is connected to Emotion Regulation.
What is Don't Take Anything Personally?
This Latin root of impeccable means "without error against oneself."
What is impeccabilis?
This part of the brain reacts to social rejection almost like physical danger.
What is the amygdala?
This uncomfortable feeling causes many assumptions.
What is uncertainty (or ambiguity)?
This agreement reminds us that today's effort shouldn't be compared to yesterday's.
What is "Always Do Your Best"?
This agreement is connected to Distress Tolerance.
What is Don't Make Assumptions?
According to the workbook, repeatedly telling yourself "I am a failure" increases this stress hormone, reinforcing shame and avoidance.
What is cortisol?
The workbook says this question is more helpful than "Why are they doing this to me?"
What is "What in me is being activated/triggered?"
This recovery behavior often follows catastrophic assumptions.
What is isolation?
This way of thinking tells us that one mistake means we've ruined everything.
What is perfectionism?
(also accept all-or-nothing thinking.)
This agreement is connected to Interpersonal Effectiveness.
What is Always Do Your Best?
Ruiz says this voice is often the most dangerous one in recovery because it speaks in our own voice.
What is the inner judge (or inner narrator)?
Ruiz calls taking everything personally the maximum expression of this.
What is selfishness?
Before reacting, Ruiz encourages us to replace assumptions with one of these.
What is a clarifying question?
Ruiz teaches that when you've honestly done your best, this emotion has less room to grow.
What is regret?
Name all four agreements.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Dont take it personally
Dont make assumptions
Always do your best