Things Dad Says
Matthew messed up again
"Dammit Matthew"
Everyone's favorite from the chef
Dad's Gourmet Pasta
Puff Momma
Grandma Joyce
Rendered no aid despite his lifeguard experience
When Matthew floated away
A good way to start any friendly phone conversation
"What's your milk"
When Matthew and Emily are roasting Dad again
"Can you guys stop ganging up on me"
Doesn't even taste like a vegetable
Ear Wax Broccoli
If he doesn't have a beer, he's getting one
Started a tradition of wearing this on a fishing pier
Big Blue Coat
Dad's favorite phone app
Las Vegas Slots
When Matthew threatens to not join him for dinner
"Guess your not eating"
Inspired by a workout video
Buff Dude's Chicken
Is actually a pleasant person for the most part
Aunt Judy
Claimed he was fixing something to block the sun to get out of this
Speeding Ticket
Nickname of Dad's school
Dirty 3 School
First thing said to Emily when he sees her
"Scoots"
A Mexican experiment gone wrong
Taco Soup
Has a new kid every other year
Jamie
One of the greatest insults ever uttered by Matthew as at the conclusion of one of his strikes
"Don't trip over your skirt"
Nickname of slugger turned meme on Dad's favorite baseball team
Crushy D
When you are discussing anything involving school or physical activity with Dad
"I studied this stuff"
Threatens to never go back here each time it doesn't have enough meat in it
Weird fat dude I am sometimes forced to talk to
Joe
What day did he think it was when he chipped his tooth?
Name the two most famous coworkers of Dad's
Falvo and Tony Tan