Dad Jokes 101
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
This essential, multi-pocketed carrier packed with diapers and wipes is known simply as what?
A diaper bag (or "diaper backpack").
In Star Wars, Darth Vader utters one of the most famous cinematic lines to Luke: "No, I am..." what?
...your father
What footwear is universally recognized as the ultimate, controversial dad footwear, especially when worn with white athletic socks?
Sandals / Crocs / New Balance sneakers.
What is Marco's first son's name?
Logan
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. I just can't...
put it down.
What is the name of the technique where you wrap a newborn snugly in a blanket to help them feel secure?
Swaddling.
This animated TV dad from Springfield loves donuts, naps, and saying "D'oh!"
Homer Simpson
Every seasoned dad needs a reliable tool clipped to his belt or sitting in a drawer. What multi-tool brand is the gold standard?
Leatherman (or Swiss Army Knife).
What is Marco's dogs name?
Ned
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
What device, traditionally strapped to a parent's chest or back, allows a dad to carry a baby while keeping his hands free?
A baby carrier / baby sling / wrap.
Played by Phil Dunphy in Modern Family, what is the name of his self-authored book on parenting?
Phil's-osophy.
What piece of outerwear, characterized by dozens of pockets and mesh fabric, is the ultimate uniform for a dad on a fishing trip or sightseeing vacation?
A tactical/fishing vest.
Which Pension Plan did Marco work at before he came to CAAT?
OMERS
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
According to sleep studies, parents of a newborn lose an average of how many hours of sleep in the baby's first year?
Roughly 400 to 450 Hours
In The Lion King, Mufasa famously tells Simba that everything the light touches is what?
Their kingdom.
What is the grilling golden rule every dad swears by when cooking steaks?
Let the meat rest
What soccer position does Marco play?
Goalkeeper
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
At what general age do human babies typically start smiling in response to seeing a human face (known as a "social smile")?
Around 6 to 8 weeks.
In the movie Taken, Liam Neeson delivers his iconic phone threat to find his daughter. What are his exact opening words?
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want..."
According to classic stereotypes, what is the exact acceptable indoor thermostat temperature range that a dad must fiercely guard?
Between 68°F and 72°F
What is one of the symbols on Marco's forearm tattoo?
An Arrow/ Arrows