who is the patron saint of e-mail?
st.francis of a cc.
why did the coffee file a police report?
it got mugged.
what did the tree do when the bank was closed?
it started it's own branch.
what do you call a person who is happy on a Monday?
retired!
why did the scientist go to the tanning salon?
because he was a paleontologist.
how do Buddhist monks send e-mails?
they remove all attachments
what do you call a police officer who refuses to get out of bed.
an undercover cop.
what do you call an erratic photograph?
a loose canon
what does the dentist get on his one-year work anniversary?
a little plaque.
why did basketball players go to jail?
it kept on shooting, get it shooting.
what did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?
"where's my tractor?"
what did the lawyer name his daughter?
sue.
why did the coffee file a report?
it got mugged
how is Christmas like another day at the office?
because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit!
when's the best time to go to the dentist?
tooth-hurty.
what do you call a drummer without a girlfreind?
homless
why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
he couldn't concentrate.
what did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
where's popcorn
whats the worst thing about ancient history class?
the teachers always Babylon.
what word is always spelled wrong in the ditionary?
wrong.
whats another name for an eyedropper?
a clumsy ophthalmologist.
what did the static say to the other static?
i'm sick and tired of your interference!
what does a panda fry it's bamboo in?
a pan, duh.
why did the dentist stick some x-rays in his mouth?
because they were tooth-pics.
what did the farmer say when he coundn't find his tractor?
where's my tractor?