Animals
What do you call a cow with no legs?
What is Ground Beef
Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing
Why did the kid eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
He was outstanding in his field
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they are shelfish
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public?
Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory?
He took the day off
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumby
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They would get called for traveling
Why did the employee bring a ladder to work?
Because he wanted to reach the next level.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing it just let out a little wine
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants
In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the employee sit near the window?
They wanted a brighter career
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer
Why did the bagel apply for a loan?
It needed some dough
Whats a pirates favorite letter?
You'd think its R, but its the C
Why don't scientists trust atoms?