Holly-wooooooooood!
Why are celebrities the coolest people around?
They have a ton of fans!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta!
What did the plumber say to the singer?
Nice Pipes!
What do pots eat on their birthdays?
Pancakes!
What do you call Batman when he skips church?
Christian Bale
Why can't you hear pterodactyl's go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent......
Why should you never pamper a cow?
you'll get spoiled milk!
What do you call a lazy doctor?
Dr Do-Little
What do you call someone who doesnt believe in Santa Claus?
Eggnog-stic!
What is really E.T short for?
Because he has short legs!
Why do sea gulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels
What is a pirate's favorite food place?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrby's!
Where would you grow a pastry chef?
Bakersfield!
Who is the smallest Basketball player ever?
Kobe Bry-ANT
How can you tell a dogwood tree from any other tree?
From the bark!
What did the mama buffalo say to the baby buffalo when he left for school?
Bison.....
What is the best social media snack?
instagraham crackers!
I found out I was colorblind the other day
It came right out of the purple
DAILY DOUBLE!!!
During King Arthur’s time, one of the knights of the round table collected Taxes. What was that knight’s name?
Steve Harvey got into an argument with his wife. Some called it an altercation, others called it what?
A family feud
Why is a leopard the worst at hiding?
Because they're always spotted!
What kind of car does an egg drive?
A Yolkswagon!
If spaghetti made an action movie, what would it be called?
Mission Im-pasta-ble!
Why should you never play Poker in the jungle?
Too many Cheetahs!