You're Fired!
National Security Advisor
February '17 - April '18
H.R. McMaster
No CGI here; This famous golden retriever was actually trained to play baseball, basketball, football, soccer, and hockey
Buddy "Air Bud"
The death of Joseph Stalin in 1953 triggered a power struggle from which this man emerged victorious
Nikita Khrushchev
“Life... is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”
Macbeth
"Merry Christmas," read the first ever one of these, sent in 1992
SMS or Text Message
White House Press Secretary
January '17 - July '17
This big boy guards the junkyard beyond the baseball diamond, scaring away neighborhood kids from retrieving home run balls in The Sandlot
Hercules AKA 'The Beast'
He served as president of Cuba before being deposed by Fidel Castro's 26th of July Movement
Fulgencio Batista
“Young men’s love then lies
Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.”
Romeo & Juliet
Myspace
White House Chief of Staff
July '17 - January '19
John Kelly
Season 3 of this '90s television show introduced Comet, the family's Golden Retriever.
Full House
This Ethiopian Emperor is revered as a messianic figure to Rastafarians the world over
Haile Selasse
DAILY DOUBLE
“Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.”
Web traffic following this celebrity's death caused Twitter, Wikipedia, and AIM to all crash
Michael Jackson
DAILY DOUBLE
United States Secretary of Energy
March '17 - December '19
Though over 160 episodes, orphan boy Rusty and this titular German Shepherd traveled together to help soldiers establish Western America.
Rin Tin Tin
This Serbian strongman represented himself during his five-year war crimes tribunal at The Hague, which ended without a verdict when he died in prison
Slobodan Milošević
“…be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ’em.”
Twelfth Night
This company, at one time the worlds largest vendor of mobile phones and smartphones, was founded as a pulp mill in 1865
Nokia
Director of Communications for the Office of Public Liaison
January '17 - January '18
Omarosa Manigault Newman
This oversized French Mastiff gets help from a detective, played by Tom Hanks, to crack the case of his murdered owner.
Hooch
His rule over Haiti from 1957 to 1971 was known for its brutality against rivals as well as his claim that he caused the assassination of John F. Kennedy
François "Papa Doc" Duvalier
“We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.”
The Tempest
This Silicon Valley troublemaker landed in hot water after a Lord of the Rings themed wedding, which cost $10 million and caused damage to California's redwood forest
Sean Parker