Did They Make a Good Impression?
A classmate follows you everywhere. Every time you turn around, there they are. They try to start up conversations, but you aren’t interested. You tell them so, but they just won’t give up.
Did they make a good impression? Why?
No, they did not make a good impression because they did not respect you when you said you weren't interested.
What if someone offers you a drug to take while you’re at a party. They tell you the drug will help you relax and have a good time.
What would you do?
Never take a drug someone offers you at a party!
Your boyfriend/girlfriend suddenly breaks up with you. Does this mean that you’re unlovable? Of course not. It may hurt, but this is just not the right relationship for you.
What are some things you could do for yourself?
Allow Yourself to Feel-It’s okay to feel hurt, disappointed, or even angry. Give yourself time to process these emotions.
Focus on self-care
Reconnect with friends and family
You have a date to go to a friend’s party. It will be a 20-minute ride over, just the two of you. You wonder what you’ll talk about that whole time. It may not be as hard as you think, but just in case, come up with two things to talk about ahead of time.
Is asking the other person a question about themselves a good way to start a conversation?
Absolutely! Asking your date questions about themselves is a great way to start a conversation.
Do take a minute to say thank you at the end of your date (if all went well). This shows you are interested and would be open to getting together again.
How will you do it?
In-person
Text
Direct message
You and your new lab partner are getting along very well. As you talk on your breaks, you find that you have a lot in common. On the last day of the semester, they ask if you would like to go out to eat to celebrate passing the class.
Did they make a good impression? Why?
Yes, they got to know you over the semester and built on common interests.
What if, after dating someone once, you decide not to go out with them again. Then you see their Facebook page, which says they are in a relationship with you. They even uploaded a picture from your date, so it looks true.
What would you do?
Contact them privately and ask them to remove the Facebook statues and photos.
You’re having trouble deciding who to invite to the Spring Fling. Which of these are most important to you?
How pretty or handsome they are.
How popular they are.
How much do you have in common with them?
How comfortable you feel when you are around them.
Who would you consider asking and why?
Being pretty and handsome can be a nice plus, but it isn’t the only factor that makes a night enjoyable.
Popularity can seem important, but think about whether this really matters to you.
Having shared interests can make conversation easy and fun.
If someone makes you feel comfortable, relaxed, and able to be yourself, they’re probably a great choice for a date.
Sometimes things don’t go as planned. Before you go out, make an “escape plan”. Decide what you will do if you don’t feel comfortable or safe on a date.
One strategy is to agree on a secret word, with a responsible adult, that means you need help. Then call that person to “check in” and use the word in the conversation.
Why would you want this word to be just between you and this adult?
When your trusted adult hears the secret word, they’ll know immediately that you need assistance without having to explain everything.
Do be specific when asking someone for a date. Just asking if they want to “get together” or “hang out” may not result in a date. Ask for a specific kind of date and set up a specific day and time. For instance, “Would you like to go to Pizza Hut this weekend?” If they say yes, ask if you can pick them up on Sunday at 6:00.
Now it’s your turn. Practice asking someone out for a date. Be specific.
"Hey Nick, I was wondering if you’d like to go to Hacienda with me this Saturday at 5:30. I’ve heard they have great food, and I think it would be fun to hang out! Would you like me to pick you up?"
You gave your cell phone number to a classmate because you were working on a project together. The project is over but they won’t quit texting you. They have been texting you 10 times a day.
Did they make a good impression? Why?
No! They should not text or communicate after the project is done and no one should text anyone 10 times a day!
What if you like someone but they don’t feel the same about you? No need to feel bad about yourself, they just weren’t the right person for you.
What are two reasons why two people may not be suited to each other?
Different interests
May not be ready for a relationship
You’ve just started dating and you’ve heard a lot of talk about physical contact during dates from other kids. Are they just bragging, or is everything you’re hearing true? You are not sure that you know what is expected or how you feel about it.
Who can you talk to who will give you honest information based on your values?
Family
Friend
Mentors
OIS Staff
Think about the possibility of physical contact. Know where you stand on this ahead of time. Talking to a trusted adult about this beforehand is a good idea.
Don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do or that you believe is wrong. Be prepared to make it clear to the other person where you stand. Take steps to end the date if the other person does not respect your decision.
What will you say?
“I’m really enjoying our time together, but I’m just not comfortable with that level of physical contact.”
“I want to take things slow and keep it respectful. This is what feels right for me, and I hope you can understand that.”
“I don’t think this is working out for me, and I’d like to go home now.”
Do tell someone, like a parent, where you will be going on a date. This is especially important when you’re dating someone new.
Why is this important?
Informing someone about your plans helps ensure your safety. If something were to go wrong or if you needed help, they would know where to look for you or how to reach you.
You get a text from someone you don’t know. They say they got your number from a friend at school and that they are in your math class. They tell you, in detail, everything they like about the way you look. They ask you for a date.
Did they make a good impression? Will you go?
NO! Do not go out on a date with someone you don't know.
What if you’re dating someone who wants to be with you almost every day, but you feel like you need time to focus on your own activities, friends, and hobbies.
What would you do?
Talk with your partner and share how you are feeling. Communication is key in relationships!
You’re asking someone out for the first time. You want to appear confident, but you’re nervous about asking them face-to-face, afraid they may say no. You feel with time and experience you’ll gain that confidence.
But for now, what other ways can you ask someone out?
Text
PM on social media
Phone call
Know where you’re going and what you’ll be doing ahead of time so you can dress for the occasion. Is there anything you need to bring, like a tennis racket or a sack lunch?
What kinds of dates could you go on where you might need to bring something with you?
Outdoor Movie or Concert
Hike
Sporting event
Pool
Do stay positive if you don’t find that special person right away. Look for someone that you have things in common with and that you can be yourself around. This may take awhile.
What types of places are you most likely to find people with your values and interests?
Clubs and Organizations
Fitness Classes or Sports
Faith-Based or Spiritual Communities
Someone you pass in the hall daily has started smiling and making eye contact with you. After several days, they show up at your table in the lunch room and ask if they can sit with you. You say yes. When the bell rings, they ask if they can walk you to your next class.
Did they make a good impression? Why?
Yes. They followed the step of flirting with your eyes and smiling. They are also taking baby steps.
What if you find out that you and a close friend are interested in the same person?
What would you do?
Talk About It Honestly
Decide Together on a Plan
Consider Stepping Back
Respect Each Other’s Choices
Being kind, respectful, and honest with each other will help you both manage your feelings in a way that strengthens your friendship.
ou decide it just isn’t working and you need to break up with the person you’ve been dating. You know it will be painful, but now that you’ve decided, you want to do it quickly and get on with your life.
What are some things you can do to make a quick break respectfully?
Choose a Private, In-Person Setting: If possible, meet in person rather than breaking up over text or social media.
Be direct but kind, and keep it brief
Use “I” Statements. To avoid sounding accusatory, focus on your feelings and needs.
Someone from school, that you don’t know, has asked you out. It wouldn’t hurt to get some information about them, so you ask around. You find out they have a bad reputation, so you say no.
What kind of reputation do you have? Can your reputation be changed, for better or worse, because of the people you hang around with?
Yes, your reputation can definitely change over time, both for better or worse. The people you spend time with often have a big influence on how others view you.
Do listen to that little voice that may caution you not to do something. That voice is often right. You can say no to anything you don’t feel comfortable or safe doing, and you don’t have to give your reasoning. Sometimes, saying no can be uncomfortable, but muster the courage to say it anyway.
Why is this important?
Self-Protection
Personal Boundaries
If you ignore your instincts and go along with something that makes you uncomfortable, you may end up regretting your decision. Trusting your gut can help you avoid situations you might later wish you hadn’t been in.