FAST
When is the Goal of using the FAST skill?
To maintain Self-Respect
What is the Goal of using the GIVE skill?
The GIVE skill is especially important for maintaining healthy relationships through effective communications.
What is the Goal of using the DEAR MAN skill?
The DEARMAN skill is intended to help us develop effective interpersonal communication that will help us get our needs met and develop healthy relationships with others.
What does F in FAST stand for? and explain
Be Fair
Be fair, not just to the other person, but also be fair to YOURSELF!
What Does the G stand for? Explain
Be Gentle
Be nice and respectful. Avoid attacks (verbal or physical), threats, and manipulation. Avoid harassment of any kind. Express anger directly with words. Avoid using threating statements, for example; “I’ll kill myself if you…” Describe painful consequences for not getting what you want, but describe them calmly and without exaggerating. Stay in the discussion even if it gets painful. Exit gracefully. Avoid judging, moralizing, and blaming. Avoid smirking, eye rolling, sucking teeth, and interrupting the other.
What DBT module is FAST, GIVE, and DEAR MAN under?
Interpersonal Effectiveness
What does A in FAST stand for? Explain
No Apologies
No unjustified apologies. Do not be overly apologetic, apologize for making a request, for breathing, taking up space, being alive. Don’t apologize for having your own opinion or for disagreeing with others.
What does the I stand for?
Act Interested
Listen and appear interested in the other person. Listen to the other person’s point of view. Face the person; maintain eye contact; lean toward the person rather than away. Don’t interrupt or talk over the person. Be sensitive to the person’s wish to have the discussion at a later time. Be patient.
What does interpersonal mean?
what does effectiveness mean?
Relationships with other people/communication in relationship to other people
What works
What does the S in FAST stand for? Explain
Don’t compromise or abandon your OWN VALUES to try to please others or conform.
What does the V Stand for? Explain
Show that you understand the other person’s feelings and thoughts about the situation. See the world from the other person’s point of view, and then say or act on what you see. “I realize this is hard for you, and “I see that you are busy. Go to a private place when the person is uncomfortable talking in public.
What does MAN stand for?
Mindful keep your focus on your goals. Maintain your position. Don’t be distracted. Don’t get off the topic. Speak like a “Broken record.” Keep asking for what you want. Or say “No” and express your opinion over and over and over. Just keep replaying the same thing again and again. Ignore attacks. If the other person attacks, threatens, or tries to change the subject, ignore the threats, comments, or attempts to divert you. Do not respond to attacks. Ignore distractions. Just keep making your point.
Appear confident, effective, and competent. Use a confident voice tone and physical manner; make good eye contact. No stammering, whispering, staring at the floor, retreating.
Negotiate be willing to give to get. Offer and ask for other solutions to the problem. Reduce your request. Say no, but offer to do something else or to solve the problem another way. Focus on what will work.
What does the T in FAST stand for? Explain
Be Truthful
Truthful Don’t lie, exaggerate, or stretch the truth. Don’t make excuses. Don’t act HELPLESS or take advantage of others when you are capable of helping yourself!
What does the E stand for? Explain
Use an Easy Manner
Use a little humor. Smile. Ease the person along. Be light-hearted. Sweet-talk. Use a “soft sell” over a “hard sell.” Be “political.” Leave your attitude at the door.
What does DEAR stand for?
Describe the current situation (if necessary). Stick to the facts. Tell the person exactly what you are reacting to.
Express your feelings and opinions about the situation. Don’t assume that the other person knows how you feel.
Assert yourself by asking for what you want or saying “No” clearly. Do not assume that others will figure out what you want. Remember that others cannot read your mind.
Reinforce (reward) the person ahead of time (so to speak) by explaining positive effects of getting what you want or need. If necessary, also clarify the negative consequences of not getting what you want or need.