MINDFULNESS
MINDFULNESS
Mindfulness, at its essence, is simply being present. This means paying attention to what is happening right now. Without judgment. Without overthinking. Without invalidating your experience. Mindfulness is just being willing to show up to the present moment. It is acceptance of the present moment.
EXPLORING THE PROS AND CONS
EXPLORING THE PROS AND CONS
The individual is asked to list the pros and cons of tolerating the distress and of not tolerating the stress. Through evaluating the short-term and long-term pros and cons, clients can understand the benefits of tolerating pain and distress, and thereby reduce impulsive reactions.
BUILDING POSITIVE EXPERIENCES
We usually consider life to be going well when we have more positive experiences than negative experiences. Like a bank account, we need to put in more than we take out to be stable. When we have a high amount of positive experiences and then have a setback, we’re more likely to bounce back quickly.
IGNORE
Ignore
If the other person attacks, threatens or tries to change the subject, ....IGNORE, the
threats comments or efforts to divert you. Just keep making your point. If you respond to these attacks, you have allowed the other person to take control of the situation
If you want to deal with the attacks...deal with them in another discussion.
OBSERVE
Attending to events, emotions, and other behavior responses without necessarily trying to end them because they’re painful or prolong them when they’re pleasant.
What we learn is to allow ourselves to experience with awareness, in the moment, whatever is happening, rather than leaving a situation or trying to end an emotion.
Generally, the ability to attend to events requires the ability to step back from the event itself.
SELF SOOTHE
Use the five senses to nurture:
ABC
ABC
A - Accumulating positive experiences
B - Build mastery
C- Cope Ahead
BROKEN RECORD
Broken Record
Keep asking, saying no or expressing your opinion...over and over and over
You just don't have to think up something new each time, just keep saying the exact same thing. Keep a mellow tone of voice....your strength comes from maintaining your position
DESCRIBE
Describing is using words to represent what you observe.
Describing is a reaction to observing; it is labeling what is observed. Such acknowledgement is an expressed recognition of your experience.
IMPROVE
IMPROVE:
I – is for imagery, such as visualizing a relaxing scene or a successful interaction. Imagine negative feelings melting away.
M – is for creating meaning or purpose from a difficult situation or from pain, i.e., finding the silver lining.
M – is for creating meaning or purpose from a difficult situation or from pain, i.e., finding the silver lining.
P – is for prayer—to God or a higher power—for strength and to be open in the moment.
R – is for relaxation, by breathing deeply and progressively relaxing the large muscle groups. Listen to music, watch a funny television show, drink warm milk, or enjoy a neck or foot massage.
O – is for one thing in the moment, meaning the individual strives to remain mindful and focus on a neutral activity in the present moment.
V – is for vacation, as in taking a mental break from a challenging situation by imagining or doing something pleasant. This could also be taking a day trip, or ignoring calls and emails for a few hours.
E – is for encouragement, by talking to oneself in a positive and supportive manner to help cope with a stressful situation.
BUILD MASTERY
Learning and becoming proficient in new skills (and not just DBT skills), including hobbies and talents that you love to do. This builds your self-confidence and ensures that you feel capable and talented on a regular basis. You also have something to fall back on in times of boredom, anxiety, or depression. Though you may not want to in the moment, engaging in one of these activities can alleviate or eradicate the unwanted emotions.
It also means that you’re not planning for failure as you will assume that you’ll be successful in each situation you’re placed in. As you gain more experience being successful in various situations, you’ll feel more confident in your ability to overcome unwanted emotions.
DEAR MAN
DESCRIBE
Describe the situation when necessary - sometimes it isn't stick to the facts and no judgmental statements
EXPRESS
Express feelings/opinions about the situation clearly, describe how you feel or what you believe about the situation.
ASSERT
Assert your wishes.
Ask for what you want.
Say no clearly.
REINFORCE
Reward people who respond positively to you when you ask for something, say no or express an opinion.
STAY MINDFUL
Keep your focus on your objectives in the situation
Maintain your position
Don't be distracted on to another topic
APPEAR CONFIDENT
Confident tone of voice
Confident physical manner
Appropriate eye contact
NEGOTIATE
Be willing to give to get
Offer and ask for alternate solutions
Reduce your request
Maintain your no, but offer to do something else or solve the problem another way
PARTICIPATING
Enter into your experiences whole-heartedly. Let yourself get involved in the moment, letting go of ruminating and self-consciousness (no separation of self from on-going events and interactions).
RADICAL ACCEPTANCE
Radical Acceptance means completely and totally accepting something from the depths of your soul, with your heart and your mind. You stop fighting reality. When you stop fighting you suffer less.
COPE AHEAD
When you prepare (mentally, emotionally, and even physically) for events that you know are going to be difficult for you. This could be a class presentation, a job interview, or an upcoming test.
GIVE
GIVE: Using Relationship Effectiveness
WISEMIND
Integration of reason with emotion.
Reasonable mind views the world rationally and pays attention to observable facts and phenomenon, sometimes being somewhat detached from the situation and noticing the facts.
Emotion mind driven by your subjective perceptions and internal emotional state.
Wise mind is the balance between reasonable mind and emotion mind… it is the “middle way,” it involves a deep sense of intuitive knowing.
A –
C –
C –
E –
P –
T –
S –
A – is for activities and distracting oneself with healthy, enjoyable pursuits such as hobbies, exercise, and visiting with friends.
C – is for contributing and doing things to help others, through volunteering or just a thoughtful gesture.
C – is for comparing oneself to those less fortunate, finding reasons to be grateful.
E – is for emotion; identifying the current negative emotion and acting in an opposite manner, such as dancing or singing when one is feeling sad.
P – is for pushing away, by mentally leaving the current situation and focusing on something pleasant and unconnected to the present circumstances.
T – is for thoughts; diverting one’s attention from the negative feelings with unrelated and neural thoughts, such as counting items or doing a puzzle.
S – is for sensations, and distracting oneself with physical sensations using multiple senses, like holding an ice cube, drinking a hot beverage, or enjoying a warm foot soak.
PLEASE
Treating physical illness
Balanced eating
Avoiding mood-altering drugs (non prescribed)
Balanced sleep
Exercise
FAST
FAST: Self-respect effectiveness