Myths 1
There is a right way to feel in every situation
All feelings are valid. Feelings arent right or wrong. They are a reflection of your thoughts, experiences, and perceptions, which is why two people can have the same experience, but feel differently about it.
Painful emotions are not important and should be ignored.
Painful emotions can be warning signs telling me that a situation I am in is not good.
My emotions are who I am.
Emotions are temporary. You are someone who experiences emotions. Make it a point to describe your emotion by saying “I feel...” rather than “I am...”.
People should do whatever they feel like doing.
Our actions have real consequences for ourselves and others. This is why it is so crucial to differentiate behavior from internal feelings and emotional states.
Creativity requires intense, often out-of-control emotions.
I can be in control of my emotions and be creative.
Emotional truth is what counts, not factual truth.
Feelings aren't always facts. Sometimes strong emotions are based on our interpretations of events, rather than the event itself. In most situations, both emotional feelings and facts matter, not one or the other.
If others do not approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn't feel the way I do.
It is important for you to care about, understand, and validate your own feelings. I know my feelings matter so I will practice accepting them. I can validate my feelings by reminding myself that all feelings are acceptable and have a purpose; my feelings matter and they arent wrong.
Other people are the best judges of how I am feeling.
I am the best judge of how I feel. Other people can only guess how I feel. External validation doesn't mean anything until you can validate your own feelings. You are the only one who can validate your feelings and deem them acceptable and legitimate better than anyone else; no one can do it for you! Deep down, your feelings are your feelings, valid regardless of what others think.
Emotions happen for no reason.
Emotions help humans evolve and survive. It would be very dangerous if we didn’t have emotions. That is why it’s important that we’re able to understand emotions as they play such an important role in how we behave. Our emotions alert us when our natural human needs are not being met. Our emotions help us communicate with others. Etc
Letting others know I am feeling bad is a weakness.
Feeling heard and understood is a basic need felt by most people. Emotional vulnerability is actually a sign of courage because we become more resilient and brave when we embrace who we truly are and what we are feeling.
Negative feelings are bad and destructive.
Negative feelings cannot hurt us, but what we do with negative feelings can be destructive. Choose wisely ;)
Some emotions are stupid.
All emotions have a function. Believing any emotion is stupid—especially the emotions that make you feel vulnerable, such as shame, sadness or fear—is a way of invalidating yourself and your own experience. Emotions fall into 5 categories of purpose. None are stupid!! Emotions motivate us to...
Being emotional means being out of control.
The out of control part comes not from the emotion but with the action. It is possible to respond instead of react to emotions by creating a moment of pause between the feeling and what you do next. By pausing to take a few breaths before you react to your emotions, you disrupt the automatic reaction derived from old beliefs.
Feelings consume you and never end.
There’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.
Extreme emotions get you a lot further than trying to regulate your emotions.
Extreme emotions can cause us to say things that we don’t mean, hurt someone’s feelings or offend someone, even if we don’t mean to do so. Failing to regulate your emotions can have serious consequences.
If I feel something, then it must be true.
Sometimes our emotions keep on lingering and growing inside is, even after the time where they served their purpose. Even though sometimes the way we feel can show us the right decision we should make (when we are acting from our Wise mind as well), they are not always true. For example, feeling worthless, or lik
All painful emotions are a result of a bad attitude.
An emotion is the result of memories, beliefs or environmental stimuli.
Acting on your emotions is the mark of a truly free individual.
Reacting strongly will make you feel out of control. It's far better to give a good "voice" to your emotions. The ability to experience and express emotions is true freedom
It is inauthentic to try to change my emotions.
As humans, we all regularly experience emotions that we try to change. That doesn’t mean we are not being true to who we are. Rather, we are working on changing emotions that aren’t effective.
For example, if you are terrified to fly but you want to see your friends and family who live across the country, you will work on changing the emotional response of fear. Or you are scared to go on an interview but you want and need a job. To succeed, you work to reduce your fear so you can show up as your best self.
I should feel like everybody else is feeling in the same situation.
We can never really know how everybody feels in a certain situation because they may not always show it. It is normal for different people to have different emotional reactions. It is not helpful to forcefully try to feel how we imagine others feel in the same situation, or to criticize ourselves when we don't meet this imaginary standard.