Objective/DEARMAN
What is the skills used for getting what you want?
DEARMAN
Looking for people who are similar to you, Working on communication skills, and/or Finding common grounds are all part of what?
Building healthy relationships
What does the F stand for?
What is Fair?
Identify an personal example of when you would use DEARMAN skills?
Asking for a promotion, asking for money, a place to stay, asking for a pass or ride.
Is this talking or arguing: Asking questions to try to trip up the other person
Arguing
Letter in DEARMAN used when you stick to the facts
D: Describe
This type of effectiveness is used for keeping or improving the relationship while trying to achieve your goal.
What is Relationship Effectiveness - GIVE
Standing up for yourself. Defending a friend. Doing or saying something that takes courage. Voting for what you believe in (even if you are in the minority). Are all examples of what?
Self-respect effectiveness
What are two different factors that get in the way of us being effective in interpersonal situations?
lack of skills, indecision, interference from emotions, short-term goals over long-term goals, the environment, the way we are raised, unhealthy beliefs/myths
Give an example of using mindfulness skills in interpersonal situations
Aware of wants/needs/emotions
Aware of environment/other person
"M" in DEARMAN
True or False: We can always get what we want, somehow?
False, there are some things in life that we can't get
What are two ways you can 'Act interested"?
direct eye contact, listening, asking questions, summarizing, open body language
What four letter acronym is used to maintain self-respect?
F.A.S.T.
(be) Fair
(no) Apologies
Stick to Values
(be) Truthful
A staff member asks you to talk about your behaviors in dorm last night. What questions could you ask yourself to decide how respond to this request?
Do I have all the facts?
Is it appropriate for the relationship?
What does my wise mind tell me about saying no?
What do we call this statement:
I can't stand it if someone gets upset with me
What is a myth?
Which letter in DEARMAN describes: using a confident voice, and making good eye contact, instead stammering, whispering, staring at the floor or retreating.
A: Appear Confident
Communicating to another person, that the other person's feelings, thoughts, and actions are understandable to you, given his or her past or current situation is the definition of what?
Validation
ROLE PLAY:
Use FAST skills to respond to the following:
At a party someone makes a mean comment. You are offended but you do not want to start an argument
Be Fair
No Apologies
Stick to Values
Be Truthful
"What will my friend think?" or "i'd probably screw it up anyways" are examples of these things that get in the way of effectiveness?
Worry thoughts
What Factor to Consider is this:
You actually don't know what to say or how to act
What is Lack of Skill?
Role Play: You want to ask someone to get you a soda. Use a DEARMAN
Use a DEARMAN
What do the letters in acronym GIVE stand for?
(be) Gentle
(act) Interested
Validate
(use an) Easy Manner
ROLE PLAY:
Use FAST skills to respond to the following scenario: Your friend wants you to steal some money from your sister.
Be Fail
No apologies
Stick to values
Be truthful
Situation: Jim's younger sister asks him to cover for her and tell their parents she spend the night at Jim's place, which is not true.
Identify the Objective: Relationship: Self-respect: of this situation
Objective: keep his sister out of trouble
Relationship: Maintain a good relationship with his sister
Self-respect: not violate his moral code of not lying
When you ask, say no, or express your opinion, while keeping your voice calm:
Goes with which letter in what Acronym?
What is A for Assert in DEAR MAN?