Dialectics
What does "dialectic" mean?
Two opposites can exist simultaneously.
What are personal boundaries?
Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships.
What's the purpose of DEAR MAN?
To effectively communicate our needs with others when in conflict while also maintaining the relationship.
What does validation mean?
Finding the kernel of truth in another person’s perspective or situation; verifying the facts of a situation. • Acknowledging that a person’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors have causes and are therefore understandable. • Not necessarily agreeing with the other person. • Not validating what is actually invalid
What does DBT stand for?
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Name 1 way we can think and act dialectically
Look for both sides; Be aware that you are connected; Embrace change; Remember that you affect your environment and your environment affects you.
What should your boundaries be based on?
Boundaries should be based on your values, or the things that are important to you. For example, if you value spending time with family, set firm boundaries about working late. Your boundaries are yours, and yours alone. Many of your boundaries might align with those who are close to you, but others will be unique
What does 2 of the letters in DEAR MAN stand for?
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate
What is 1 reason we should Validate?
• It improves our relationships by showing we are listening and understand. • It improves interpersonal effectiveness by reducing: Pressure to prove who is right, Negative reactivity, and Anger • It makes problem solving, closeness, and support possible. • Invalidation hurts
What are the 4 modules of DBT?
Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, Interpersonal Effectiveness
Name 1 Example of two opposites That Can Both Be True
You can want to change and be doing the best you can, AND still need to do better, try harder, and be more motivated to change; You can be independent AND also want help; You can want to be alone AND also want to be connected to others; You can share some things with others AND also keep some things private
What is 1 thing you should do when setting boundaries?
Use confident body language, plan ahead, be respectful, compromise
What's the purpose of GIVE FAST?
GIVE FAST is a step by step process of what we want to keep in mind while using our dear man script and how we want to appear throughout the conversation and present ourselves
What is 1 important thing to validate?
The valid (and only the valid). • The facts of a situation. • A person’s experiences, feelings/emotions, beliefs, opinions, or thoughts about something. • Suffering and difficulties.
What is Authenticity according to Brene Brown?
Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are
What is 1 Important Opposite to Balance?
Accepting reality AND working to change it, Validating yourself and others AND acknowledging errors, Working AND resting, Doing things you need to do AND doing things you want to do, Working on improving yourself AND accepting yourself exactly as you are
How would you set a boundary in this situation?
You notice your roommate has been eating your food in the fridge. You never discussed plans to share food, and don’t want them eating what you bought.
“I’d like to keep our food separate. If there’s something of mine that you want, please ask me before taking it.”
What does 2 of the letters in GIVE stand for?
Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy Manner
What is 1 way you can show validation?
Pay attention, reflect back, "read minds", understand, acknowledge the valid, show equality
What is 1 element of Self-compassion according to Brene Brown?
Self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness
What is the overall dialectic in DBT?
Accepting yourself the way you are AND trying to make positive changes in your life
How would you set a boundary in this situation?
Your friend calls you at 11 pm to discuss issues she is having with her boyfriend. You need to wake up at 6 am
“I can tell you’re upset. I want to talk to you, but I need to go to bed. Maybe we can talk tomorrow afternoon.”
What does 2 of the letters in FAST stand for?
Fair, Apologies, Stick to Values, Truthful
What is 1 thing you should consider when asking or saying no?
1. The other person’s or your own capability. 2. Your priorities. 3. The effect of your actions on your self-respect. 4. Your or the other’s moral and legal rights in the situation. 5. Your authority over the person (or his or hers over you). 6. The type of relationship you have with the person. 7. The effect of your action on long- versus short-term goals. 8. The degree of give and take in your relationship. 9. Whether you have done your homework to prepare. 10. The timing of your request or refusal
What is 1 of the Goals of Interpersonal Effectiveness?
Be skillful in getting what you want and need from others, Build relationships and end destructive ones, Walk the middle path