DEARMAN
GIVE-FAST
Building Relationships
IE Grab Bag
100
Letter in DEARMAN used when you stick to the facts of the current situation.
What is D: Describe.
100
The most important component of this four letter acronym is to validate.
What is GIVE
100

Meeting people online and through video games is a healthy and effective way to meet and make friends

FALSE

-Don't know who they are, may not live in area to actually spend time with them, could be unsafe, may not be similar in age

100
When we use observe, describe, and participate in interpersonal conversations we are using what IE skill?
What is mindfulness of others or core mindfulness skills.
200
Component of DEARMAN where you make your intentions clearly known by ASKING for what you want or SAYING NO clearly.
What is A: ASSERT.
200
The most important component of the four letter acronym is to maintain self-respect.
What is FAST
200
When building relationships it is helpful to do this.
What is looking for people who are similar to you, working on conversation skills, and/or express liking selectively. Other answers are acceptable.
200
Everything is made of opposing forces/opposing sides. When we balance opposite points of view in conversations, we are using what?
What are Dialectics?
300
Component of DEARMAN where you let others know the positive benefits, or clarify the negative consequences of not getting what you want or need.
What is R: Reinforce.
300

John says to his friend "I'm really sorry that I can't make it to the movies, my sibling is in the ER so I can't go. I'm so sorry that I can't come. Please don't be mad." Then John is not using this FAST skills

FAST: A-no apologies

300

True or False: If we wait for others to approach us, someone eventually will, which is an effective way to meet and make friends.

FALSE

300
A skill in conversations where we are not necessarily agreeing with the other person, but we are acknowledging how there response makes sense in some way.
What is Validation (IE Handout 17)
400
Use a confident voice, make good eye contact, no stammering, whispering, staring at the floor, or retreating.
What is A: Appear Confident
400
Name two levels of validation that help expand the V in GIVE
What is pay attention, reflect back, read minds, understand, acknowledge the valid, show equality.
400
Wait for a break in the conversation, stand beside a friendly looking member of the group and say something like, "mind if I join you?"
What is ways of joining an open group or most effective way to join an open group?
400
Name two ways to self-validate.
Check all the facts, practice radical acceptance of yourself, self-sooth, remember that being invalidated is rarely a complete catastrophe, or other examples are acceptable.
500

If we are willing to give and take on what we are asking for by compromising and being flexible with our request, we are using this DEARMAN skill

Negotiating

500
Do a DEARMAN to another person in the room while using GIVE to maintain the relationship. Ask to borrow money.
Performs acceptable demonstration of the DEARMAN-GIVE.
500

What is an effective conversationalist?

A person who asks plenty of questions, responds to questions with an appropriate level of personal information, gives positive feedback, shows the other person they have heard, understood, and appreciate what the other person has said, and speaks for a little more than half of the conversation time?

500

Explain what a proper "I Statement" entails and give an example

I feel _____ when _____, I am asking _____

Answers may vary for example

M
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