DEARMAN
GIVE-FAST
Building Relationships
IE Grab Bag
100

Letter in DEARMAN used when you stick to the facts of the current situation.

What is D: Describe.

100
The most important component of this four letter acronym is to validate.
What is GIVE
100
True or False: Proximity, or familiarity often leads to liking and sometimes love?
True
100

When we use observe, describe, and participate in interpersonal conversations we are using what IE skill?

What is mindfulness of others or core mindfulness skills.

200

Component of DEARMAN where you make your intentions clearly known by ASKING for what you want or SAYING NO clearly.

What is A: ASSERT.

200
The most important component of the four letter acronym is to maintain self-respect.
What is FAST
200
When building relationships it is helpful to do this.
What is looking for people who are similar to you, working on conversation skills, and/or express liking selectively. Other answers are acceptable.
200
Everything is made of opposing forces/opposing sides. When we balance opposite points of view in conversations, we are using what?
What are Dialectics?
300
Component of DEARMAN where you let others know the positive benefits, or clarify the negative consequences of not getting what you want or need.
What is R: Reinforce.
300
While using this "flavor" of DEARMAN, we do not over apologize.
What is FAST
300
When people are standing close together, members attending exclusively to each other, and there are animated conversations with few gaps?
What is a closed group?
300
A skill in conversations where we are not necessarily agreeing with the other person, but we are acknowledging how there response makes sense in some way.
What is Validation (IE Handout 17)
400
Use a confident voice, make good eye contact, no stammering, whispering, staring at the floor, or retreating.
What is A: Appear Confident
400
Name two levels of validation that help expand the V in GIVE
What is pay attention, reflect back, read minds, understand, acknowledge the valid, show equality.
400
Wait for a break in the conversation, stand beside a friendly looking member of the group and say something like, "mind if I join you?"
What is ways of joining an open group or most effective way to join an open group?
400
Name two ways to self-validate.
Check all the facts, practice radical acceptance of yourself, self-sooth, remember that being invalidated is rarely a complete catastrophe, or other examples are acceptable.
500
If DEARMAN is not working effectively, this is a way to ask the other person how they would get what they want or say no if they were you.
What is Turn the Tables
500
Do a DEARMAN to another person in the room while using GIVE to maintain the relationship. Ask to borrow money.
Performs acceptable demonstration of the DEARMAN-GIVE.
500
A person who asks plenty of questions, responds to questions with an appropriate level of personal information, gives positive feedback, shows the other person they have heard, understood, and appreciate what the other person has said, and speaks for a little more than half of the conversation time?
What is an effective conversationalist? (IE Handout 11)
500
Explain how to reinforce a behavior.
Add positive consequences or remove aversive consequences (other creative examples are acceptable). IE Handout 22.
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