Interpersonal Effectiveness
Is the following belief Truth or Myth? Why?
"To keep a healthy relationship, sometimes I need to put my own wants and needs first, and sometimes I need to put the other person's wants and needs first."
Truth. Healthy relationships require balance and compromise. If you put your own wants and needs first every single time, you might have a hard time maintaining relationships. If you put others' wants and needs first every single time, you might have a hard time maintaining boundaries and self-respect.
Use your DEAR GAL skills to ask someone to stop doing something that is bothering you.
Describe, Express, Ask, Reward, Goal-focused, Act confident, Limber-thinking (willing to negotiate/ compromise)
A close friend says something that you strongly disagree with. You want to express that you disagree, but your main priority is maintaining your relationship with your friend. Demonstrate how you could use your GIVE skills in this situation.
Gentle, Interested, Validating, Easy-going
A few of your friends who are super outdoorsy are planning a camping trip and want you to come. You are NOT an outdoorsy person and absolutely hate the idea of spending the night outside, but you also really want these friends to like you. Demonstrate how you can use your FAST skills to stay true to yourself in this situation.
be Fair, no Apologies, Stick to your values, be Truthful
You're talking with a classmate that you would really like to be closer friends with. Demonstrate how you could use your conversation skills to get to know them a little better. (BONUS: use your DEAR GAL skills to ask them to do something with you)
Ask questions, provide positive feedback, carry your end of the conversation, make small talk, slowly open up a little, do not interrupt, express liking.
What can get in the way of being interpersonally effective?
1. not having the skills you need to be effective.
2. worrying about how others will respond to you.
3. big emotions interfere with using your skills.
4. not knowing what you want.
5. the environment you're in.
You want to start doing overnight home visits on the weekend. Use your DEAR GAL skills to demonstrate how you would ask for this.
Describe, Express, Ask, Reward, Goal-focused, Act confident, Limber-thinking (willing to negotiate/compromise)
Your mom is upset with you for staying out past curfew. Demonstrate how you would use your GIVE skills to help preserve a positive relationship with your mom.
Gentle, Interested, Validating, Easy-going
A friend asks you to do them a favor. It's something that is pretty inconvenient for you, and you feel like you do a lot of favors for this friend, and they do not do a lot of favors for you. How can you use your FAST skills to maintain your self-respect in this situation?
be Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, be Truthful
What skills are important for having good conversations?
Asking questions, providing positive feedback, carrying your end of the conversation, making small talk, slowly opening up over time, not interrupting.
Is the following belief Truth or Myth? Why?
"Anyone who actually cares about me should know what I want without me needing to ask them."
Myth. Just because someone is close to you and cares about you, doesn't mean that they can read your mind. To have a strong relationship, you have to be able to ask for what you want.
Why is staying focused on your goal important for getting what you want?
If you don't stay focused on your goal, your emotions can get the better of you, or your conversation can get side-tracked and go off in a different direction, making it less likely that you will get what you want.
Why is validating others important for getting/keeping relationships?
Why is not apologizing important for keeping self-respect?
When you apologize for things you shouldn't, like having an opinion or being yourself, you can start to feel bad about yourself, because apologizing suggests that you did something wrong.
Expressing liking is important for making friends. What are three different ways that you could express liking to someone?
Tell someone what you like about them.
Give compliments.
Ask them to do stuff with you.
Be supportive to them.
What is interpersonal effectiveness?
Being effective in your relationships. Being able to get form strong relationships and get what you want out of your relationships.
What does DEAR GAL stand for?
Describe
Express
Ask
Reward
Goal-focused
Appear Confident
Limber-thinking/ negotiating
What does GIVE stand for?
Gentle
Interested
Validating
Easy-going
What does FAST stand for?
(be) Fair
(no) Apologies
Stick to your values
(be) Truthful
Who do we tend to become friends with?
People who we see most often or have frequent contact with.
People who are similar to us in some way (e.g. similar beliefs, attitudes, interests, values).
What are the Three Main Goals of Interpersonal Effectiveness?
1. Getting what you want
2. Getting/keeping strong relationships
3. Gaining/keeping self-respect
Which Interpersonal Effectiveness Goal should you use DEAR GAL skills for?
Getting What you Want
Which Interpersonal Effectiveness Goal should you use GIVE skills for?
Getting/keeping strong relationships
Which Interpersonal Effectiveness Goal should you use FAST skills for?
Getting/keeping self-respect
What are some reasons why it is important to have friends?
having friends helps you feel less isolated and lonely, friends can provide support and understanding, having supportive relationships increases happiness.