I.E. GIVE
This is what the "G" stands for in GIVE and this is a brief explanation of it.
What is "Gentle"? (i.e. to speak kindly with a gentle tone and without judgment, threats, or attacks.)
TRUE or FALSE: When we "Describe" a situation, we want to use as many judgments or interpretations as possible.
What is FALSE? (We want to describe the situation using only the facts.)
These are two benefits of being mindful.
What are:
1. Gives you more choices/more control over your behavior.
2. Reduces your emotional suffering and increases your pleasure and sense of well‑being.
3. Helps you make important decisions.
4. Helps focus your attention.
5. Increases compassion for self and others.
6. Lessens your pain, tension, and stress.
7. Improve your health.
TRUE or FALSE: We can never "Apologize" too much.
What is FALSE? (It is encouraged to apologize if we wronged someone, but we do not want to overapologize - or underapologize).
TRUE or FALSE: It is possible to have multiple interpersonal priorities (i.e. relationship, objective, self-respect) at the same time.
What is TRUE? (We often use multiple skills at the same time.)
These are two ways we can "Validate" others.
What is to:
1. Actively listen by making eye contact and staying focused.
2. Be mindful of your verbal and nonverbal reactions: (e.g. no rolling eyes, sucking teeth, heavy sighing, walking away, making light of serious things, or saying, for example, “That’s stupid," "Don’t be sad,” “I don’t care what you say,” “Whatever!”).
3. Observe what the other person is feeling in the moment. Look for word(s) that describes the feeling.
4. Reflect the feeling back without judgment (e.g., “It makes sense that you’re angry”; “I understand that you're having a tough time right now”).
5. Think about what your best friend in Wise Mind would say to you.
6. Show tolerance. Look for how the feelings, thoughts, or actions make sense given the other’s (or your own) history and current situation, even if you don’t approve of the behavior, emotion, or action itself.
7. Respond in a way that shows you're taking the person seriously (with or without words); (e.g. “That sounds awful.” If someone's crying, give a tissue or a hug, ask things like “What do you need right now? For me to just listen or to help you problem-solve?”
This is one example of how we use "Mindfulness" when using DEAR MAN.
What is:
1) Keeping your focus on what you want and avoiding distractions or attacks.
2) Coming back to your assertion over and over, like a “broken record.”
These are the three states of mind.
What are: Emotional, Reasonable, and Wise Mind?
This is what the "F" stands for in FAST.
What is being "Fair"?
This is why we would typically use the DEAR MAN skill.
What is to get what you want/need or to say "no"?
What are two ways that we can show we are "Interested" in what the other person is saying/doing.
What is by: maintaining good eye contact, having a neutral expression, not interrupting, active listening skills, etc.
This type of statement can be very helpful when "Expressing" ourselves to others to get them to listen, have compassion, and not get defensive.
What is an "I feel..." statement?
This is one Mindfulness "What" skill.
What are: Observe, Describe, or Participate.
Not lying, acting helpless when you're not, making up excuses, or exaggerating are examples of this FAST skill.
What is being "Truthful"?
This is one of the THINK skills (T.H.I.N. or K.) and what it means/how you use it.
What is:
"Think" about it from the other person’s perspective.
"Have empathy" (i.e. what might they be feeling or thinking?)
"Interpretations" (i.e. thinking of more than one possible interpretation or explanation for the other person's behavior.)
"Noticing" ways the other person has been trying to make things better; or how the other person may be struggling with their own problems.
"Kindness" (i.e. using kindness and being gentle when you approach the other person.)
This is what the "E" stands for in GIVE and this is a brief explanation of it.
What is to use an "Easy manner"? (e.g. to smile, use humor, to be non-threatening without any "attitude".)
These are 2 ways we can "Assert" ourselves and/or "Appear confident".
What are to:
Be clear.
Make (and maintain) eye contact.
Use a strong/confident tone of voice.
This is one Mindfulness "How" skill.
What are: Don't Judge, Stay Focused, or Do What Works.
This is what the "S" stands for in FAST.
What is "Sticking to your values"? (i.e. sticking to your own values and opinions; not selling out to get what you want, fit in, or avoid saying “no”).
This is why we would typically use the THINK skill.
What is when you want to make peace, reduce conflict, and reduce anger?
This is why we would typically use the GIVE skill.
What is when you want to keep or maintain a healthy relationship?
2 part question: This is one example OR definition of "Reinforcing" AND one example OR definition of "Negotiating".
What is:
(Reinforcing): A statement/action that rewards the person ahead of time by explaining the positive effects of getting what you want.
(Negotiating): A statement/action in which you give to get, ask for the other person’s offer alternative solutions to the problem, or “agree to disagree” and walk away.
These are 2 mindfulness activities we did during the Interpersonal Effectiveness module.
What are:
1) Fictional character to befriend and why?
2) Counting to 10 together.
3) Chair Yoga.
4) Round-Robin storytelling.
This is why we would typically use the FAST skill.
What is to maintain our self-respect and feel positively about ourselves?
This is one of the factors to consider in asking for what you want or saying “no” to an unwanted request.
What are:
1. Priorities (i.e. objectives? relationship? self-respect?).
2. Capability: Is the person/am I able to give them/me what I want?
3. Timeliness: Is this a good time to ask or to say no? Is the person in the mood or able to listen?
4. Preparation: Do I know all the facts I need to know? Am I clear about what I want?
5. Relationship: Is what I/they want appropriate to the current relationship?
6. Give and take: Have I/the other person helped me/them in the past? Have I/they overused my/their help?