Boundaries
What are characteristics of rigid boundaries?
Likely to say no if the request involves close interactions, avoiding intimacy, fearing abandonment, rarely share personal information, difficulty identifying wants and needs, few or no close relationships, rarely ask for help, distant
What is an example of open body language during conversation?
Good eye contact, leaning in, not being distracted by phone/tv, uncrossed arms or legs
True or false:
Validation is "fixing," offering solutions, or giving advice?
False
Validation is NOT "fixing," offering solutions of giving advice
What is the core concept of DEARMAN?
Focus is on us, getting our own wants/needs met
What holiday is today?
Valentines Day
What are 2 characteristics of collapsed/enmeshed boundaries?
Can't say no, your identity consists of what others think of you, no balance of power in relationships, take on others problems, share personal information too soon, have a high tolerance for abuse, put others first always, ignore your intuition, feel responsible for others happiness, tend to absorb the feelings of others
Treating others with kindness and a relaxed attitude, allowing space for others. "You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
True or false:
Validation is not agreeing or giving in
True
True or false:
Others can read our minds
False
True to false:
If you know you are right, you need to still apologize to another person?
False
Do not engaged in unneeded apologetic behaviors
What is an example of a psychological boundary?
Information about yourself, your thoughts, beliefs and values
What does the "I" in GIVE stand for?
Interested
Demonstrate reflecting this sentence back:
"This weekend I am excited to play some basketball."
Playing basketball sounds like it could be fun
Where do you play basketball?
That's awesome you get to play basketball
Give an example of a fair negotiation to use in DEAR MAN?
Examples vary
Differs for everyone
What are 3 examples of physical boundaries?
Body and space around it, what we eat and what goes into our bodies, who is around our bodies... examples vary on person to person. Will accept multiple answers
What is the core concept of using GIVE?
Focus on others to build and maintain relationships
What are examples of negative non verbals we can give off during communication?
Lack of eye contact, playing on our phone, eye rolling... will accept others
What is the different between describe and express in DEAR MAN?
Describe: identify the facts supposing your request, your reason for saying no, or your need for a boundary
Express: Share your opinions and feelings related to the situation
What are 4 ways you can maintain your sobriety going into the weekend?
Differs for everyone
What is this kind of boundary called?
0---------------0
(You) (Them)
Ridid/Distant
Demonstrate how to use GIVE with others by picking a group member (or counselor) to have a conversation with about the weekend
OR tell me what the whole GIVE acronym stands for
...... Genuine, Interested, validated, easy manner
What are one of the "A"s in VALIDATE?
Ask questions or attend to nonverbals
What is the "M" in DEAR MAN?
Mindful
What is a SMART goal you can set for the weekend?
Differs for everyone
Specific, Measureable, attainable, realistic, timeable