The Basics
True or False:
You should assume that others know what you feel.
What is False?
What do you think the "A" in DEAR MAN stands for?
A. Acknowledge Emotions
B. Get Aggressive
C. Appear Confident
What is
C. Appear Confident
Appear Confident refers to using body language and facial expressions to express (nonverbal) confidence.
Stand tall, shoulders back, neutral facial expressions, avoid using "um", avoid excessive fidgeting
What does the D. E. A stand for in the Dearman Acronym?
What is Describe, Express, and Assert
Does this sentence fit into the "assert" skill from DEAR MAN
You're going to do the dishes and you're going to do them now!
What is
NO
Assert / Ask a Question - avoid demanding
this statement is a demand
What is 1 thing you should do to appear confident?
What is Use a confident tone of voice (no whispering, stammering), confident body language (stand up tall), and make eye contact)
True or False:
Name calling and insults are a good way to express how you feel.
What is False?
What do you think the "M" in DEAR MAN stands for?
A. Stay Mindful
B. Be Mean
C. Masterfully deceive your opponent
A!
The "M" in DEAR MAN stands for "Stay Mindful"
Staying mindful refers to staying on topic and being intentional about the conversation you are having - keep it specific and to the point
Name and describe the first three components of DEAR MAN
D. E. A.
What is
D: describe the facts
E: express your feelings/emotions
A: assert (I need, I want)or ask a question. Avoid demanding
Apply the "assert" skill to the following scenario:
Your housemate left a mess of coloring supplies all over the table:
What is?
Could you please clean up your coloring supplies so I can use the table?
I would like to use the table, when will you be done coloring?
Can you let me know when you are done coloring so I can use the table?
What does each letter stand for in "MAN"
What is Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate
Who can you use the DEAR MAN skill with?
What is Anyone?
What does the letter "A" stand for in DEAR MAN?
Assert.
This is the step in DEAR MAN that involves sticking to the facts without judgment.
What is Describe.
Apply the "express" skill from DEAR MAN to this scenario:
Your friend did not invite you to their birthday party.
I felt sad when I didn't get invited to your party
I was disappointed that I did not get an invitation
I felt confused when you didn't invite me, I thought we were friends.
What should you do if the other person attacks, threatens, or tries to change the subject?
What is Ignore the threats, comments, or attempts to divert you. Just keep stating your "I need or I want" (Assert)
What is the primary goal of using DEAR MAN skills?
What is To get what we want or to say "no"?
What does the letter "E" stand for in DEAR MAN?
Express.
Which is more descriptive?
A: "I want to discharge because I have continuously attended groups, have not gotten into any fights, and have taken my medication consistently."
OR
B: "I need to discharge because I've been really good."
What is A?
Apply the "express" skill from DEAR MAN to this scenario:
Your teacher wrongfully accused you of cheating on a test you studied really hard for:
What is
I felt angry when I was accused of cheating. I studied really hard.
When you accused me of cheating, Because I felt betrayed and untrustworthy ?
True or false: You will never have to negotiate to solve a problem. You should expect people to do everything you ask them to do.
What is False
What should you stick to when describing the situation?
What is stick to the facts.
What does the letter "D" stand for in DEAR MAN?
Describe.
What is 1 thing you should do to appear confident?
Use eye contact. Use a confident tone of voice.
Apply the "describe" skill from DEAR MAN to the following scenario:
You are ordering the following menu item at a drive thru: double cheeseburger with no mustard, pickles, or onions, but want to add bacon.
What is I would like to order a double cheeseburger. Please remove the mustard, pickles, and onions, and if possible, add bacon.
Doing things one at a time, refocusing when getting distracted and staying present in interactions.
What is mindful?