I Purple You
This NFL team has never won a Super Bowl (sorry, Drew), but did have one of the best unit nicknames of all time that wasn’t The Steel Curtain.
Minnesota Vikings
The home of the Golden Gate Bridge also released the classic single “The Thong Song.”
San Fran-Sisqo
A man’s wife disappears and everyone is convinced he murdered her, except he didn’t. The cat, Cheeto, quietly witnesses the whole ordeal.
Gone Girl
Miami
The Miami Herald
The OG boy band from England.
The Beatles
This NBA team has never won a championship, will never win a championship, and is not in Utah or North Carolina. I did not write this question.
Phoenix Suns
This famous desert city is known as the golf capital of the world and is also born to run.
Palm Spring-steen
This film follows an Air Force pilot who transforms into a superhero. The cat is named Goose (but is Goose actually a cat?).
Captain Marvel
Atlanta
the Atlanta Journal-Constitution
This was not the first boy band created by Maurice Starr. They launched in 1986 but broke big in early 1990 and, yes, I can still sing all the words to “Step by Step.”
New Kids on the Block
This team hasn’t won a playoff round since 2002, but its 1990s Starter jacket is one of the most iconic.
Charlotte Hornets
This central California city, home of the Cal Poly Mustangs, decides to focus less on education and more on promoting its hit song “Circles.”
San Luis Obis-Post Malone
The tagline for this Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele movie was “kitten, please.” The title is the name of the cat, which sadly confused a lot of people.
Keanu
Fort Lauderdale
The South Florida Sun Sentinel
This actually was the first boy band started by Maurice Starr. Its members included future Mr. Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown, and its first big hit was the Jackson 5-inspired song, “Candy Girl.”
New Edition
I don’t know anything about this college team. Ask Kalyn.
Northwestern
The home of Disneyland decided to become a band made up of sisters who sound a little like Fleetwood Mac.
Ana-Haim
The crew on a commercial space ship gets attacked by a mysterious lifeform that picks them off one by one. Except for the cat, Jones, who like many cats is an expert hider.
Alien
Pittsburgh
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
The first of several groups put together by boy-band empresario Lou Pearlman, this band debuted in the late 1990s. Their biggest hit was “I Want It That Way.”
Backstreet Boys
Our own David Roth once described his baseball team as “the old, weird kind of bad.” They are also EIC Tom Ley’s favorite team, and they might be better off if he just ran them.
Colorado Rockies
This coastal California city, known for its very fancy aquarium, was the setting for HBO’s Big Little Lies but then it changed gears and became a famous soul singer eventually played by Jamie Foxx.
Monte-Ray Charles
A grieving father finds a burial ground that has the power to raise the dead -- including the family cat, whose name is Church (after Winston Churchill).
Pet Sematary
Des Moines
The Des Moines Register
One of the biggest Latin boy bands in history, this group started in 1977 and kept going with several lineup changes until 2009, with a brief comeback in 2015. Its most famous alum is Ricky Martin.
Menudo