Myths or facts
Myth
Abusers are often apparently charming, generous and well-presented people who can hold positions of social standing. Abuse is kept for those nearest to him or her, to the privacy of their own homes. This Jekyll and Hyde tendency of the abuser can further confuse and frighten the person being abused, as the person in private is so very different to the person everyone else sees. It can also mean that when the person being abused finally does try to tell his/her friends, family or acquaintances of the abuse, he or she is not believed, because the person they are describing simply doesn’t fit the image portrayed in public
True or False:
Domestic violence happens in all kinds of families, of any socioeconomic status, urban, suburban and rural, in every part of the country, in every racial, religious and age group
True
Your partner puts you down and makes you feel bad about yourself. Your partner calls you names and makes you feel crazy.
What is emotional abuse
Violence that is distinguished by physical violence, sexual violence, and dominating and demeaning conduct. It creates fear and a significant power gap between the perpetrator and the survivor.
What is Coercive/Controlling Violence
What is the tool we use in class that represents when people have more power because they can inflict more dangerous violence. And the consequences of their actions are different for the people on the top than the people on the bottom.
What is The Hierarchy Triangle
Myth
There are many emotional, social, spiritual and financial hurdles to overcome before someone being abused can leave. Very often the constant undermining of the victims self-belief and self-esteem can leave him/her with very little confidence, socially isolated, and without the normal decision-making abilities. Leaving or trying to leave will also often increase the violence or abuse, and can put both the victim and her children in a position of fearing for their lives. Leaving is the ultimate threat to the abusers power and control, and he will often do anything rather than let her go.
True of False:
Couples counseling is recommended for people in domestic violence relationships
False:
Relationship counseling can help partners understand each other, resolve difficult problems, and even help the couple gain a different perspective on their situation. It cannot, however, fix the unequal power structure that is characteristic of an abusive relationship.
Your partner uses the children to relay messages and talks badly about you to the kids. Your partner threatens to take the kids away
Using Children
This type of violence includes both legal and illegal use of force, which is used by people to control their partner's use of coercive and controlling tactics or in reaction to other's violence against them.
What is Reactive/Resistive Violence
A Domestic Violence Agency you can call to get support with safety planning, legal advocacy, shelter, emotional support, etc.
Domestic Abuse is caused by excessive alcohol or the use of drugs.
Myth
A lot of research is going into the link between drug or alcohol use and violence. However, although some abusers are more prone to being violent when drunk, many more abuse when completely sober. Alcohol and drugs may increase the violence, but they do not cause it. Alcohol and drug abuse are separate issues from abuse, though they may overlap. Once again, blaming chemical dependency for abuse is missing the point, the abuser is responsible for his actions
Your partner controls who you talk to and where you go and limits your outside involvement. Your partner uses jealously to justify their actions.
What is Isolation
Many people who use this violence often try to negotiate, appeal to family members and friends, appease their partner, or separate from their partner before resorting to this type of domestic violence.
What is Reactive/Resistive Violence
A type of relationship where two separate people, each with their own ideas and values, have no violence within the relationship.
What is "Partnership" or "Equality"
Abusers or batterers just have a problem expressing anger. They need counselling or Anger Management courses to learn to resolve disputes without violence.
Myth
Most abusers have no problem resolving disputes with their boss or other outside person without resorting to violence. They chose to use violence and other forms of abuse against their partner as a means of maintaining their power over them
The CDC reports that more than 1 in _ women in the United States experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime.
1 in 3
Your partner prevents you from getting a job and makes you ask for money. They give you an allowance but you are not allowed to know about or have access to the family income
What is financial abuse
Violence in which one or both parties uses violence, but it is not part of an on-going pattern of coercion and intimidation; no element of entrapment or fear is present
What is Situational Violence
Steps taken to protect a survivor and their family from abuse. A plan that is a personalized and practical that helps identify things a survivor can do to better protect themselves and their children and to help reduce the risk of being abused
What is a Safety Plan
Domestic violence is a private family matter.
Myth
Domestic Violence is everyone’s business. Keeping domestic violence secret helps no one, has been shown to harm children, incurs substantial costs to society, and serves to perpetrate abuse through learned patterns of behavior. Domestic violence is an illegal act in the U.S. and is considered a crime with serious repercussions. Although there are aspects of domestic violence (example: emotional, psychological, spiritual abuse) that may not be considered criminal in a legal sense, serious and long-lasting physical, emotional and spiritual harm can, and often does, occur. Each and every act of domestic violence needs to be taken seriously.
Intimate partner violence accounts for _ of all violent crimes
Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crimes
Your partner makes you feel afraid by using looks, actions, or gestures. Your partner will smash things and destroy your property. Your partner will leave weapons around for display.
What is Using Intimidation
People who use this form of violence have the belief that they are entitled to control the actions, thinking, and behaviors of their partner and children.
What is Coercive/Controlling Violence
A Court Order that can help protect you and your children from people who are a threat to you because they are;
What is a Protection From Abuse Order