Myths or facts
Myth
Abusers are often apparently charming, generous and well-presented people who can hold positions of social standing. Abuse is kept for those nearest to him or her, to the privacy of their own homes. This Jekyll and Hyde tendency of the abuser can further confuse and frighten the person being abused, as the person in private is so very different to the person everyone else sees. It can also mean that when the person being abused finally does try to tell his/her friends, family or acquaintances of the abuse, he or she is not believed, because the person they are describing simply doesn’t fit the image portrayed in public
Unwanted kissing or touching
Doxxing
Distract
Distraction is a subtle and creative way to intervene. Its aim is simply to derail the incident of harassment by interrupting it.
It is easy for a victim to leave their abuser, so if they stay then it's probably not bad.
Myth
There are many emotional, social, spiritual and financial hurdles to overcome before someone being abused can leave. Very often the constant undermining of the victims self-belief and self-esteem can leave him/her with very little confidence, socially isolated, and without the normal decision-making abilities. Leaving or trying to leave will also often increase the violence or abuse, and can put both the victim and her children in a position of fearing for their lives. Leaving is the ultimate threat to the abusers power and control, and he will often do anything rather than let her go.
On average, nearly _ people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.
On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men
Punching, hitting, strangling, and more
Physical abuse. What many people think of when they hear ‘abuse.’ But we know that abuse comes in many forms
Pretending to be someone else online or creating fake numbers to harass someone
Spoofing
Delegate
Delegation is asking a third party for help with intervening in harassment.
Domestic Abuse is caused by excessive alcohol or the use of drugs.
Myth
A lot of research is going into the link between drug or alcohol use and violence. However, although some abusers are more prone to being violent when drunk, many more abuse when completely sober. Alcohol and drugs may increase the violence, but they do not cause it. Alcohol and drug abuse are separate issues from abuse, though they may overlap. Once again, blaming chemical dependency for abuse is missing the point, the abuser is responsible for his actions
Intimate partner violence accounts for _ of all violent crimes
Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crimes
Telling me what I can and cannot wear.
Controlling behavior, emotional abuse
Negging
Document
Documentation involves either recording or taking notes on an instance of harassment.
Abusers just have an anger problem and need counselling or Anger Management courses.
Myth
Most abusers have no problem resolving disputes with their boss or other outside person without resorting to violence. They chose to use violence and other forms of abuse against their partner as a means of maintaining their power over them
A woman is assaulted every _ seconds
A woman is assaulted or beaten every nine seconds
Causing someone to question their own sanity, memories, or perception of reality.
Gaslighting
Delay
Even if we can’t act in the moment, we can still make a difference for someone who’s been harassed by checking in on them after the fact. Many types of harassment happen in passing or very quickly, and it’s not always possible we’ll have a chance to intervene in another way. We can help reduce that person’s trauma by speaking to them after an instance of harassment.
Domestic violence is a private family matter.
Myth
Domestic Violence is everyone’s business. Keeping domestic violence secret helps no one, has been shown to harm children, incurs substantial costs to society, and serves to perpetrate abuse through learned patterns of behavior. Domestic violence is an illegal act in the U.S. and is considered a crime with serious repercussions. Although there are aspects of domestic violence (example: emotional, psychological, spiritual abuse) that may not be considered criminal in a legal sense, serious and long-lasting physical, emotional and spiritual harm can, and often does, occur. Each and every act of domestic violence needs to be taken seriously.
The IL Domestic Violence Hotline gets more than 30,000 calls a year.
Forbid you from working, sabotage employment opportunities, or controlling how money is spent
Financial abuse
Repeated phone calls, tracking your location, showing up unexpectedly at home or work, unwanted gift or communication
Stalking
Direct
Sometimes, when it is safe to do so, we may want to respond directly to harassment by naming the inappropriate behavior confronting the person doing harm.