The Cycle of Aggressive Conflict
The Honeymoon Phase lasts, on average, this amount of time during the initial cycle.
What is 6 months? This is an average! Some relationships will see a longer or shorter Honeymoon Phase. Regardless, offenders cannot hide forever!
This is the most common form of abuse.
What is financial abuse? Finances can be manipulated and utilized to control many aspect of a survivor's life (i.e. where they are able to live, where they can go, who they can contact, etc.)
This is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.
What is the definition of Domestic Violence?
True or false: "Children are too young to understand or remember the domestic violence"
The two most important pieces of this component of healthy relationships are 1)we set specific, clear expectations and 2) we withhold these expectations.
What are boundaries?
This is the most severe possible outcome of the Explosion Phase in the cycle.
What is death? Unfortunately something as severe and saddening as death is a possibility, which is why it is so important we safety plan!
This form of abuse works to diminish our self-esteem.
What is emotional abuse? Offenders utilize emotional abuse to keep you in the relationship by making you question your worth.
Behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish, or force them to behave in ways they do not want.
What is the definition of Abuse?
True or false: Domestic Violence can cause a sense of confusion for a child about both parents.
What is true? For example, children may wonder if mom can keep them safe, or wonder why dad hurts mom.
Creating and abiding by a Time-Out Contract with our partners can facilitate this.
What is Healthy Conflict Resolution?
This phase makes me feel like I am "walking on eggshells."
What is Rising Stress? During this time, we are experiencing the impact of convert behaviors (passive aggressive behaviors) that may be difficult to pinpoint.
Why are you acting so crazy? I never called you that name, you are making things up!
What is gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that causes us to question our realities.
When an individual becomes desensitized to abusive, coercive, or inappropriate behaviors.
What is the definition of Normalization?
True or false: Children will not become abusive themselves because they understand abuse is wrong.
What is false? Many children will become abusive with parents, siblings, peers, teachers, etc. as a result of witnessing abuse. It is learned behavior!
Words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and gifts are examples.
What are the 5 love languages?
What is true? Remorse does not last for long, though! Remorse is quickly followed by justification. "I'm so sorry I punched that hole in the wall, but you know how I am when you burn my dinner!"
She loves those children more than she loves me! Next time she threatens to leave, I'm going to make sure she knows I have the best lawyer in town and she will not get custody of those kids!
What is using children? Offenders will use our children against us because, yes, we love them more than anything!
This is when one person forces or attempts to force another to think or act in a different way using manipulative tactics.
What is Coercion?
True or false: Children walk the Cycle of Aggressive Conflict with us.
What is true? Children and pets go through the cycle as we do, and worry at any moment the abuse will happen again!
The CERTS model of healthy sexuality is an acronym for what?
What is Consent, Equality, Respect, Trust, and Safety?
These two parts of the cycle MUST be removed in order to successfully discontinue walking the cycle.
What are justification and pretend normal? If we continue to justify behaviors, we do not hold ourselves and offenders accountable for unhealthy behavior. If we normalize DV dynamics, those around us will be unaware we are in need of help and we even begin to feel the behavior is normal ourselves.
My wife's employer does not support the LGBTQ community. Next time she acts up, I'm going to tell her employer she's marred to a woman!
What is outing? Threatening to disclose or disclosing one identifies with the LGBTQ community against their will is a form of abuse.
This is when an individual continuously faces a negative, uncontrollable situation and stops trying to change their circumstances, even when they have the ability to do so.
What is the definition of Learned Helplessness?
True or false: It is more common for children to experience and demonstrate their feelings in a somatic way.
What is true? Children most often show emotional distress through physical symptoms such as bed wetting, headaches, stomachaches, and nail biting.
What is validations? Sweet sweet validation! To validate someone's feelings is to accept someone's feelings and to nurture them. You do NOT need to feel the same way to validate another's feelings.