Christmas Math
Number of crazy nights with Adam Sandler plus Ebenezer’s total ghost count
What is 12? 8+4
Kelly Clarkson, the Eagles and Bon Jovi all plead to please come home for Christmas, if not for Christmas..
What is by New Year’s night?
Honey butter chicken biscuits and sweet and spicy bacon burger
What is Whataburger?
This is the name of the popular military action figure that was a ‘real American hero’ and a hit starting in the 1964 holiday season
What is G.I. Joe?
He is the horned, devil-like creature from Alpine folklore who punishes children who misbehave
Who is Krampus?
Miracle at this Macy’s address plus number of times Dare and Atlas have been on the Christmas lights ride with me, Oma and Poppop
What is 36? 34+2
It’s Christmas time in Hollis, Queens…
What is Mom’s cooking chicken and collard greens?
Marbled cookie brownies
Parmesan bread bites
Spinach feta thin crust
What is Domino’s?
Aaron was obsessed with this football team one year and this wrestler another
Who is Green Bay Packers and Stone Cold Steve Austin?
If not already on the naughty list, his kidnapping Santa and Sally probably doesn’t help
Who is Oogie Boogie?
Number of characters played by Tom Hanks on The Polar Express plus Grinch’s increase in hear size
What is 9? 6+3
He sees you when you’re sleeping
And he knows when you’re awake
He knows when you’ve been bad or good…
What is So be good for goodness sake?
Big buford
Deep sea double
THE fries
What is Rally’s?
Baby Hannah never met a baby doll she didn’t like, doing this with everyone she got
What is kissing it with her mouth open?
This ‘warped, frustrated old man’ stole the $8000 that almost sent George Bailey over the edge
Who is Mr. Potter?
Number of Hallmark-watching blankets that Robert has owned plus number of cookies Buddy the elf shoves in the VCR
What is 12? 1+11
Later on we’ll conspire as we dream by the fire
To face unafraid the plans that we made
What is Walking in a Winter Wonderland?
Frisco
Famous star
Monster burger
What is Hardee’s?
This game for the N64 was for the kids but the adults were way better at it, catching ‘them’ all!
What is Pokémon Snap?
These two bad guys are met with paint cans, blow torches and falling irons when they f*ck around and find out with Kevin McCallister and his home
Who is Marv and Harry?
The amount of the bet placed in Trading Places plus length of pole you wouldn’t touch the Grinch with
What is 40.5? $1+39.5ft
Our cheeks are nice and rosy
And comfy and cozy are we
Were snuggled up together like..
What is two birds of a feather would be?
Greek Gyro
My favorite Reuben
Curly fries
What is Arby’s?
You know you were cool if you had the OG of all gaming systems, the NES, that came with two games, Super Mario Bros and this one, complete with Zapper gun?
What is Duck Hunt?
This actor is a repeat offender, as Hans Guber in Die Hard, Harry with the necklace from Love Actually, and Professor Snape from the Harry Potter films
Who is Alan Rickman?