Animals
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't PEELING well!
Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
How do you make Lady Gaga mad?
Poke her face!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
Why did the crab never share?
Because he's shellfish!
What kind of nuts seem to always have a cold?
Cashews!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna One. Anna Two.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands!
How do trains eat?
They choo-choo
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator!
What did the cannibal choose as his last meal?
Five Guys!
What do you call a dad who falls through the ice?
A pop-sicle
How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the fresh prints
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
What do you call a rude cow?
Beef jerky!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What does a baby computer call its dad?
Data!
How do celebrities stay cool?
They have lots of fans!
What do you call a wizard who’s good with ceramics?
Harry Pottery
What do you call a sheep that knows karate?
A lamb chop!
How do you make a milk shake?
Give it a good scare!
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
Bison!
Which rapper takes the best naps?
Jay ZZZZZZ
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
He was shocked!