Punctuating Dialogue
oh no shouted mary
"Oh no!" shouted Mary.
Rewrite this sentence to SHOW (describe) instead of TELL (state):
We walked through the rain and mud puddles.
answers vary
We splashed through the downpour as it hammered on our heads. We squished in the puddles and our legs became covered in freckles of mud.
What is the mood? How do you know?
I can't believe I'm late again! I hate being late. I bet everyone will be mad at me, like last time. I think I've also forgotten my backpack. What am I going to do?
Mood: worried, upset, frantic, angry
word choice, specific details, punctuation
I rushed down the street as fast as I could in my high-heeled shoes.
verb: rushed
adj: high-heeled
The old barn leaned on the silo for comfort.
Personification
a barn doesn't really lean on something "for comfort"
"Why can't I come with you?" Fred asked.
Rewrite this sentence to SHOW (describe) instead of TELL (state):
The dogs ran around in the yard.
answers vary
The shaggy dogs raced each other aruond and around the yard, yipping with excitement.
POV?
As I hurried down the street I saw that there was a sale going on in the candy shop.
First person
The wet, muddy dog ran around the room leaving footprints everywhere.
verb: ran
adj: wet, muddy
The snow was like an blanket on the ground.
simile
comparing the snow and a blanket
The snow covered the ground completely.
it might rain later today the weatherman announced
Rewrite this sentence to SHOW (describe) instead of TELL (state):
She was sad when her balloon burst.
answers vary
The little girl burst into tears and howled when her new red balloon bumped into the cactus and popped.
POV?
We weren't worried at all. The sun was out and the sky was a beautiful blue. Henry carried the picnic basket and I carried our chairs.
First person
The rain in the woods hammered the colorful leaves into a brown, wet carpet.
verb: hammered
adj: colorful, brown, wet
The leaves danced in the gentle breeze.
Personification
the leaves don't actually dance but they look like they are as the get blown around by the breeze
my brother said i don't know how to drive
My brother said, "I don't know how to drive."
Rewrite this sentence to SHOW (describe) instead of TELL (state):
The plant needed to be watered.
answers vary
The pale green plant wilted and withered in its pot of hard, dry soil.
Mood? Evidence?
The attic seemed alive with whispers and the wind knocked at the door. How I wish I had a flashlight! Even my dog was hiding under the bed. This was the longest storm ever!
Mood: scared, frightened, nervous...
description/details...
Our pizza is a hot, spicy mess!
verb: is
adj: hot, spicy
My dogs were drowned rats after our long hike in the rain.
Metaphor
comparing the dogs the drowned rats
meaning the dogs were very, very wet - soaked through
please said mr morris help me clean this up
"Please," said Mr. Morris, "help me clean this up."
Rewrite this sentence to SHOW (describe) instead of TELL (state):
All the students were waiting for recess to begin.
answers vary
Every single student impatiently eyed the clock, watching the minute hand creep toward noon when recess would finally begin.
POV?
Henry carried the picnic blanket and Elizabeth held onto the dog's leash. It was a perfect day for a picnic and they were both very glad to get out of the house for awhile.
Third person
Rewrite this sentence to add a more vivid verb and specific (descriptive) adjectives:
I walked in the rain.
(answers vary);
verb: walked
adj: to describe the rain
The students were slugs as they lay on their desks and sagged in their chairs.
Metaphor
comparing students to slugs
the students weren't moving much, had very little energy, were behaving as if they were very tired